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It's like pouring gasoline on a fire. I feel so inadequate to deal with it. Somewhat afraid. It keeps me up at night unless I lock my door.

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Please have him transported to the hospital the next time he becomes abusive. Tell the paramedics and hospital staff that he’s abusive and that you live in fear. Accept that his needs may not be able to be met in a home setting. Never believe that there’s an excuse or reason to take this behavior not matter the diagnosis, no one should live with abuse and fear
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Here is more info from your profile:

"Verbal abusive spouse on a daily basis. Trying mood swing herbs which seem to be helping some. I think he need some kind activities. Is there anything available? I am overwhelmed with the abuse. He has not been violent but one day did say he was going up side my head. I am somewhat fearful of him. I lock my room at night before I go to sleep. Robert also suffer with OCD. I feel so inadequate to care for him. He is not unable to take care of him personal needs and he wash the dishes sometime, just can’t find where he put them and he does not remember. I also need help finding a support group. Thank You. Any help you can provide will be greatly appreciated"

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. The next time he verbally threatens you (regardless if you think he'll actually do it or not) call 911. They will probably take him to the hospital where he may get the medical attention he needs. You will need to tell the doctors what herbs and in what amounts you are giving him since this can interact with any other medicine he is given.

You have the chance at this point to tell the staff that you can't care for him at home anymore, that he is an "unsafe discharge". The staff will pressure you A LOT to take him home but you don't have to, and shouldn't. They may even promise to provide help once he's home -- they won't so don't believe this. At this point you can request to talk to the hospital social worker and discuss placing him directly into a facility. He won't want to go, but as his caregiver, you get to have a say about whether you continue to be abused and overwhelmed by his needs. So, you have this option -- which may not "feel" good at the time -- but will help the both of you in the long run. He gets the care and medical attention he needs and you get to live in peace and care for yourself. I wish you much success in getting the solutions you both need!
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Jpaat, your profile says that your husband threatens you, is verbally abusive on a daily basis and that have tried "mood swings herbs."


Consider having husband seen by a geriatric psychiatrist for medication to address his agitation and OCD.
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