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Almost 70 year old father accusing mother of having an affair. He verbally and physically abuses her. He is having mood swings, crying bouts, thinking about when he was younger. When he awakens from his nap he is angry. He doesn't think he has a problem at all. What can we do? Help!!

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Do mom and dad see the same doctor? Would he go to an appointment if he thought it was for her?

Dealing with a person with a brain impairment and/or mental illness can be dancing. You have to think outside of the box in getting them to doctors sometimes.

My mom's geripsych wanted mom to have cognitive testing. We told her we were going for a "baseline measurement ". She accepted that. Some folks have told their parents that there is a new "government requirement". I like CM's idea about asking dad how he's feeling physically.
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Thank you all for your replies. I need to convince him to get to the Dr. He's a stubborn man.
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My dad is mid-stage in some form of dementia. Over the years he's had a few brain scans (MRIs?) that have clearly shown shrinkage at the front of his brain. That may be something to look into having done. My grandmother had Alzheimer's and one of her first behavioral symptoms was accusing my grandfather of cheating on her. My dad thinks my mom is a squatter who just showed up at his house and is stealing money from him. Good luck to you...my father had good results using Aricept and Nemenda for several years but we have recently reached the point of no return and the craziness is ramping up, sadly.
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I agree with Geevesnc that a geripsych is a good idea, but only after he's been checked out for infectious/metabolic/physical conditions. A good geripsych will do that, but it may be MORE difficult to get dad to a psychiatrist (there's NOTHING wrong with ME) than to his regular doc. Thus, my suggestion about using a ruse to get him into his PCP.

Many years ago, my dear FIL started falling asleep constantly during the day, during family and holiday meals. My MIL was convinced that he was depressed and wanted to get him checked out by a psychiatrist.

My ex and his brothers convinced her to take him back to his PCP; it turned out that he was in renal failure and needed dialysis.

We have a saying in my business (which is checking out small children with developmental issues)--check the equipment, i.e., hearing, vision, low blood sugar, anemia, etc. before you jump to thinking that something is amiss elsewhere. The same holds true for you dad. Good luck!
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Yes, I would suggest a Geriatric Psychiatrist, asap. Best of luck!
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Your father is less than 70. Whatever is going on is an acute mental illness. Report it, as BarbBrooklyn advises, and in any case remove your mother from the situation.
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Has he seen his regular doc for a checkup recently? This is a change in mental status and needs to be reported and investigated, starting with his regular physician. It could be something treatable, like a uti.

Can you get him to his doc by some ruse? Everyone over 65 has to have a physical, it's part of the new Medicare regs, or some therapeutic fib like that?

You need to put what is going on in writing to his doctor. Make a list of these behaviors, point by point and get the doctor's fax number. Send it in and ask what action you should take. Follow up with a phome call.

If your dad is physically abusing uour mom, or even "just" making verbal threats, I'd call 911 and have him taken to the ER. In most states, you can get an involuntary psychiatric evaluation on someone who is a danger to themselves or others.

Good luck, and let us know what happens. We care!
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