Following my husband’s death 2 year’s ago I became seriously ill an suffered cognitive decline. I was only able to focus on my own recovery but recently have been experiencing ANGER toward my husband. I suspect this is delayed grief starting to surface. Any insights you can share?
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However, any grieving that is lasting this long needs now some strong therapy and I would suggest a cognitive therapist who specializes in the grieving process. The way we keep ourselves mired in habitual thinking is really self-harming at a certain point. That was recognized a long time as regards grieving process. It is now part of the lexicon and is in the newest DSM-5 under "complicated grieving". This makes it now covered by insurance coding and helps with affordability.
Speak to your MD to get some help. I am so sorry for your loss; your husband wouldn't want this for you. You fully understand the irrationality of blaming him for his own death, but that doesn't stop irrational feelings. You need some help now. Again, so sorry for this loss and more, for the distress that is so ongoing.