My husband died in 1995. I kept in touch with his parents on a weekly basis even though I had moved to another state. I took my children on regular visits. Fil passed and when mil began to show signs of dementia my daughter and I made the 6 hour drive to check up on her and clean her apt in the retirement home she was living in. When the retirement home forced her into an assisted living apt she became very sad. I went through an involved process to get POA and when the time came I brought her home to Ohio (1 year and a half years ago). I expended a lot of time, money, patience and love dealing with her dementia and cancer.
She slumped over in her chair this past Tuesday, I couldn't get her to stand. I called hospice who helped get a hospital bed placed in my living room. I slept on the couch next to her, cleaned her (she became incontinent), held her, cleaned the saliva out of her mouth and she died when I put my hand on her head and shoulder while I was telling her that she will be so glad to see her mom, husband and son soon. (She died yesterday).
Today I was going through her paperwork and found a directive to the retirement community in 2002 which she had to list those that could visit her. She listed 3 women and myself, however, next to my name it claimed that I was to be watched constantly to make sure that I didn't take anything.
I have done nothing but love this woman who was never able to show her son and myself love or even very much kindness but I always thought that it was because of her tragic early life and that she really did love us. So after 35 years and to have gone through what I have gone through for her to find that she had such a low opinion of me is overwhelming.
I am just so sad and angry.