After my mother's five years of cancer and four years living in her home, I decided that she needs to go into a nursing home. I am feeling guilty and worried about family reaction.
My mother has had brain cancer for five years and still doing well enough in that department. Tumor is stable yet the side effects were awful. Right side paralysis and gradually getting more and more difficult to walk/stand/pivot. She was essentially wheelchair bound at home when she fell in December and broke her hip. Hip is healed but she'll never stand again without two person assistance.
Prior to hip break, we had aides at the house during the day, 7 days a week, 8 hours a day, so I could work. I slept there evenings and nights and cooked for her. Wake up very early to go to my home and shower and then to work. These past two years were not easy on me but I wanted to keep doing it. Yet I was burning out, my job was suffering and exhausted all the time.
Now that Mom has been in a rehab facility all this time, we've had time to revaluate our options. We never thought a nursing home would happen to us. Getting 24/7 aides at home is impossible, the cost of hiring privately is costly and no guarantee of coverage. My father is also in failing health and not a good back up option. While I know she is safe in a facility, I feel tremendous guilt about placing her somewhere as a forever home.
And I am cringing, waiting for the negative backlash from my mother' family about this decision. Yet I don't see any of their children putting in the time that I did with my own mother.
Any advice? Thank you.