I've grown up with my mom having MS, once I was a teenager it was just her and I, and I have always felt responsible for what happens to her. About 6 years ago she broke her hip, the same day I found out I was pregnant with my third child, and she's been in nursing homes ever since.
The one she is currently in, she has been there over 4 years now. It was going okay until about a year ago, a nurse started working there who is a bully and things have been downhill since she started. My mom (as well as other residents that staff has decided they don't like) are purposely neglected and staff lie to her to make fun. My mom is now fully bedridden and needs to be assisted with her meals. I have filed state reports, worked with the ombudsman and contact the ADON very often. She is the only head person there who will stick up for my mom. The staff who gangs up together will often leave her in bed for the day (she enjoys the routine of getting into her wheelchair everyday, makes her feel human) and in a wet diaper until I call the ADON. Weekends I've started to contact the administrator since no one else will help her. An ex employee has verified with me everything and she told me I need to get my mom out of there. With the lockdown I can't tour other nursing homes and it sounds like the ones in the area aren't very good either.
My mom is on hospice and her hospice nurse is being very professional when she speaks with me, but she knows what goes on at the nursing home and I can tell she wants her out of there. She doesn't think my mom has very much time left, she has gotten very frail and thin since the lockdowns and has been on actively passing 3 times since July.
My main question is, does anyone have advice, experience, ideas, etc about me bringing my mom home to live with me? I have three kids, ages 5, 8 and 10. They are active with activities and school where I need to drive them around. My husband and I are starting up our own business, which helps with hours and I can work from home, but our finances are much less than before. Our house is small, I'd have to probably move our 5 year old into our bedroom and we have a dog that barks. My mom likes her quiet, not hearing children and to watch tv. Hospice will give her two nurse visits and two aide visits (to help with bathing) a week. They are researching how many hours we could get a caregiver through her insurance, but in TN I've heard it's not much. She can't be left home alone. All this sounds to me like I shouldn't do it, but I can't deal with how she is being treated at the nursing home.