My mother is requiring more care than I can give. How is it determined which facility will suit her needs best? Do I start by discussing this with her primary care physician? I have heard that seniors must first be evaluated during a 2 to 3 day hospital stay, but I am not sure where to start.

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The hospital stay is only relevant when you are looking for Medicare coverage in a nursing home (which is only for a few weeks after the stay).
I'd suggest you talk with her doctor. The decision should be based on how much nursing care and other assistance she needs, as most assisted living facilities don't provide nursing care. Some do, so that isn't universal. You could also check facilities around your area and ask what care they provide. Do your research well so you are less likely to have to move her a second time. Good luck,
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Yes, ditto on asking her MD. You will need their input and "orders" for them to go into a NH, if that happens anyways.

Respite care is often used to see if the person is "suited" to the assisted living facility. Most AL have a week or weekend respite stay program in which this is done. AL is private pay unless you have long term care insurance which will often cover respite care. They will meet with you to report on what they think she needs.

One very important issue in this whole thing is what assets does she or your family have and how is her care going to be paid for. AL is private pay unless you happen to be in a state that does Medicaid waivers for AL - those aren't automatic and there is usually a waiting list. For NH, Medicare only pays for LTC for a small # of days if you were in the hospital prior. Medicare site has details. LTC in a facility/NH are either private pay, LTC insurance or Medicaid.

For Medicaid all the regulations are state specific even though it is a federal program. Most states have the max monthly total asset of 2K. Over that you need to start to “spend down” the money. They have to qualify both for financial and medical necessity for Medicaid in a NH.

My mom moved into IL in 2007 and was there till this year. She had her own apt, but they did meals, transportation, flu shots, etc. The last year I hired a home-health gal to come in to help @ her IL. Her weight loss was more than 10% in 3 mos, wouldn't take her meds and level of paranoia so bad that she went from IL to NH (and no AL) where she is now and on Medicaid. She's mid 90's, I think if she had been younger, like mid80's with the same capabilities, she would not have qualified for NH.

If she is private pay, they all (IL, Al & NH) will want her as a resident. Good luck
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