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We had a nice memorial service for my son. My sister who did the final arrangement for my brother said she was not going to have a service for him as he did not have any friends, was never married and had no children. He had a lengthy illness and died in a nursing home under Hospice. I feel bad that his life and passing was not acknowledged, he was cremated like my son was but a few days later. Is there any ideas or advise as to how or what is done in a case like that. I would appreciate any thoughts in this matter. Thank you.

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Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Your answer is very helpful, and it sounds perfect. I can not imagine my sister opposing a simple ceremony of remembrance. God bless you, jeannegibbs.
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I am so sorry for your double loss. What a sad time for your family!

You know what a comfort your son's memorial service brought you. It is not surprising that you would want something similar for your brother.

Memorial services are much more flexible in their timing than funerals. If you would like to arrange a small but meaningful service now that would be fine. Did your brother know people at the nursing home? Perhaps a community room there would be an appropriate setting, if his only friends are residents there. Ask at the NH. Or consider having it in your own church. Or, heck, it could be held in a banquet room at a restaurant. If you place a notice in the paper you might be surprised that an old friend or two from school or childhood will show up. Even if it is only immediate family, it is still worth doing, in my opinion.

When my grandmother died, my father honored her wishes for a "no muss, no fuss" disposal of the remains, with no ceremony. I know my GM would NOT have wanted a viewing, and the only ceremony my father was familiar with was a formal funeral, which she probably wouldn't have wanted. I have always felt sad that there was no commemoration of her life. Knowing what I know now, decades later, I wish I had organized a simple memorial service for her.

I think the tricky part will be being very sensitive to your sister's feelings. You are criticizing her choice. What she did was fine at the time, and you were in no state of mind to help her. But now that some time has passed you'd like to hold a simple ceremony of remembrance.

Hugs to you, mariareyna56.
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