Is anyone else dealing with a spouse with dementia at a younger age?

I get it. I didn't become a nurse, because I wasn't interested in nursing people, and yet here I am. Are you able to get any breaks? I try to have as much fun as I can fit in, because I know it won't get any easier in the future. If you do have some assets, spend some of them for your relief. Anything that is left in the end will just go to the NH.

I know how you feel, but to get some peace, you will need to accept that this is the way things have turned out. Some people have it easier, and some people have it harder. This is what happened to you. You didn't do anything to cause it. If you read the posts here, you will start to feel that your life isn't quite as horrible as it could be. I'm not saying don't complain. Come here and complain early and often. I am saying that life isn't fair, and there's no changing that. Accepting that can remove a little surplus suffering. There will be plenty of unavoidable suffering, so try to just go with it when you can.

I planned on being a healthy and active old lady, able to get around and enjoy things. I'll try to squeeze in as much as I can, even with this burden.

I completely understand. My sister was diagnosed with dementia 3 yrs ago. She was a newlywed. They had all kinds of future plans. They barely got to know each other. I miss my sister.My 92 yr old mom is showing some signs of dementia and I feel I have a huge burden on my shoulders. I just retired and didn't think life would be like this...it gets you down. Hope you get some time for yourself without feeling guilty . we all need it. Good luck

My husband was diagnosed with frontal temporal dementia five years ago. He is now 64 and I'm 55. Never thought I'd be going through this. It can be very isolating. I do understand how you feel.

Thank you for your support. No one knows what it is like more than you. I went on an antidepressant for 3 weeks and have been like a zombie...no lows, but no highs either. No energy for walks, cleaning etc so I stopped taking them yesterday and I am feeling better already (don't worry, I was only on 10 mg of Lexipro so quitting should not affect me. I know for a fact that if I walk 2 or 3 miles a day, I have so much more energy, am soooo much happier, and have a normal blood pressure, and sleep better, so that is my plan. My husband enjoys the walks so I think that is my answer. Also, I just got a Durable Power of Attorney which I didn't think we would be able to get, so that is a huge relief to me. I thought you got one when your loved one was incapacitated. WRONG......get it now, not later.

I am on a new anti-depressant and doing much better; however, we did have my brother-in-law visit for a few days and I am getting ready for Christmas so had a little respite with my brother-in law. I went Christmas shopping, took a nap and a long shower without interruption. Merry Christmas to me. I know it will be hard again after the holidays but....one day at a time.

The new aniti-depressant is Wellbutrin. Not as tired and flat as the other one and feeling better over all.

My 62 year old husband has frontotemporal dementia, behavioral variation. He is a combination of apathetic and angry with a lot of yelling at me for whatever has ticked him off for the moment. We're only in the first year of having identifying the problem so we've got quite a while to go. I've been lurking on this website for a while and find it helpful. I recommend finding some support groups. I try to attend an ftd caregivers support monthly and a support group for caregivers of dementia (mostly Alzheimer relatives) which meets weekly. If you haven't already found out what type of dementia it is, do that ASAP because different types have different manifestations. Alzheimers is different from Lewy Body, from the dementia that may accompany Parkinson's, etc. Learn as much as you can. It's going to be a rough road to travel.

Thank you Vegas Lady. My husband has Lewy Body Dementia and shows all of the symptoms of the disease. Support groups are hard because I took my husband to day care for the first time to go to the meeting and he did not like the daycare. I am thinking about in home care. That may work better for me. Right now, we are pretty much joined at the hip, I stay at home or he goes with me. No family support so I am on my own. I think it will be better if I get someone to come in a couple of times a week so I can get away occasionally. By the way, my husband's Seriquill generic was just switched to a new manufacturer called "Accord Health" and he hasn't been doing very well the last week. I am concerned because I looked this manufacturer, coming from China, with bad reviews. I don't know if it is just the progression of the disease or it is the medication. I will address that tomorrow after I talk to his doctor, or at our next doctor visit. It is so hard to see him depressed and frustrated because of his illness. A long road for sure.

My husband is 62 & I'm 67. I've been dealing w/this for four years. I wish I could tell you about all the joy & satisfaction I've found being a caretaker, but that would be a lie. I am trapped, miserable & feel the only reason to live is so that no one else will have to deal with this nightmare. He was a great guy, athletic, caring, etc., but now it's almost hard to remember when he was normal opposed to what he is now. I hate that I can hardly stand the sight of him anymore.

Stafford -
This is the place where you can share exactly why you can't stand the sight of him, and we will all understand. I can't promise no one will flip out and accuse you of stuff, but if that happens, the rest of us will jump to your defense.

It's hard when you love a spouse or partner, but through no fault of theirs, their behavior becomes "unloveable." Tell us all about it. We get it.