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In August I posted this question. Since then, I'm still having a very very hard time with my mom's death. I keep thinking about what i could have done or should have done for her, I miss her voice and her smile. I don't really let family members into my grief because I think they think I should certainly be over it after 6 months. I'm not and it's getting worse. Maybe the holidays, I don't know but I keep thinking that I would rather be with her then here. She understood everything about me and I feel like an orphan now with no one to talk about my past and childhood with. I have family, don't get me wrong and they are wonderful but it's not the same. I sincerely miss her so much and regret the times that I wrote how frustrated I was on here. I wish I knew then what what I would feel now. Hugs to all of you...you're a wonderful group to have!

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Please, please don't feel guilty about feeling frustrated or anything you said on this site or to other people. You are human and caregiving is tough. You have no reason to feel guilty.
Six months isn't all that long for grief, and everyone grieves differently. Be prepared for tough times during this first holiday season without her. I remember writing in my newspaper column about feeling like an orphan after my mother died. My dad had died just five months before. I handled it pretty well, but two years later - bam! I got hit with deep sorrow out of no where. It passed and I was fine, but my point is that you will always miss your mom and your will always grieve the loss. But it does get much better.
You will get on with your life without her and remember the good times - treasure the good memories. Just remember how much you did to help her and remember that your mind, like most of ours, will play tricks on you. Memories of little things that didn't even matter at the time can now pop up and seem like big deals. You'll feel like you should have done better. Done more. It's not true. When that happens, you need to remind yourself that you did your best and your mom knows you did.
If those feelings persist, you need to talk to other caregivers or a counselor.
If your mom had hospice care, they will likely offer you grief counseling for at least a year afterward, so give them a call.
The fact that hospice offers this counseling for a year shows you that they know people grieve for a long time. If you don't qualify for hospice grief counseling, and you don't start feeling better, please see a grief counselor or your spiritual adviser.
You did a wonderful thing by taking care of your mom. You'll miss her always. But your life will get better in time.
Blessings to you. We do care,
Carol
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Hugs to you! And prayers to help you through your grief. I'm afraid I'll be in your shoes one day. I don't think 6 months is too long to grieve. It took over a year when my dad passed. You only have one mom and yours sounded so special, as mine is. Make sure you do grieve and get it out because it can cause problems if you keep it in. No matter how old my mom gets or feeble, she is still my strength and my mommy. She could always make things better and always had my back. You probably not come close to all the stages of grief. Give yourself time to mourn and love yourselfmlike you mom loved you.
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It's been 28 years and I still miss my mom.... of course it isn't as bad as the begining.... and I know my mom fussed sometimes when she was raising me, it's just the cirlce of life... and as was said, she KNOWS what all you did, that you loved her, still do, and she is very proud of you...
I will share some things I did for awhile that really helped me... I would write her letters, like she was just out of town... getting caught up and the 'remember when's" , it really did help.... may sound silly, and may not apply to you and your situation, but I was able to cry and miss her and move a little further down the grief road.....
Will also share something that was said at her funeral that has helped me more times than I can count..... 'Where ever she is, she knows"..... and no doubt our moms are finally in a soft resting place where they have no more stress and worries.... my prayers are with you..... it may not always get better, but over time it will get different....
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