I have been caring for Mom for 6 years. I have always supported her financially, and was taken out of school at 8 years old to keep house for the family. Somehow, I managed to get an education and then a good job, which began my providing financial support to my family. I have very little left, now spending my life savings to pay for Mom's caregivers. Dropping out of work would mean 0 income, loss of the health insurance I need for chronic conditions, and no connections to the outside world. I will likely end up homeless when caregiving ends, unless I keep working. On the surface, I look successful, with a nice job title, office in a good location, etc.
Not a month goes by that a nurse or other upper-level caregiver, always females, doesn't insist I should quit working to care for Mom fulltime. I make it clear the cost to me: loss of health insurance, not enough money for food or medicine for me or Mom, because I'm her financial support, and then, eventually, me living in my car. They shrug their shoulders and say "figure it out," or "you'll be fine!" or otherwise make it clear that it's selfish/unreasonable of me to even think of my own survival. Just to be clear, I am crystal clear that Mom will suffer, too, and they just shrug.
When Mom is in an inpatient facility, they love her for two days and then start demanding I sit there all day and nurse her myself. How is that even legal? They get quite hostile when I say I can't sacrifice myself to that extent; I have already given up all my life savings nearly, and my health is very poor. I go to the doctors maybe once a year, even though I have several conditions of my own that I manage. They make it clear that that, too, is selfish.
What is going on? Has anyone else experienced "care" staff that refuses to help with ordering appropriate care for a patient, then becoming this hostile? I was just told by another visiting nurse that I will do fine being homeless.