My 90-year old mom has suddenly developed dementia which strikes every evening now. She is very aware that her memory is failing and she is terrified by it. I am hoping to get accepted into hospice shortly, but what can I do in the interim to help alleviate her anxiety? It is heartbreaking to witness her terror, and I am feeling completely helpless in helping her with it.
I can relate because my mom at 88 is in the same stage of recognizing her decline and it is very anxiety provoking.
Unlike your situation, mine is in a memory care unit and she has staff call me - or they do so on their own - when she's distressed; this is both a blessing and not so much. I usually succeed in redirecting her by suggesting she try lying down in her room, if out of her room, or conversely, if in her room, that she go out for some company. I call on the unit staff to assist her and am usually successful with this long distance redirect. Often, she is simply longing for human connection, a port in the storm and quite quickly forgets the cause of her fears once she hears my reassurances of love and support.
Since your mom lives with you, I'd suggest trying anything to redirect her attention; you know the basis of her fear and can focus her mind elsewhere. Def follow the suggestions below about checking for a UTI, trying mild meds, etc.
For my mom, this phase has been going on for several months so, don't look toward any quick resolution in this phase.
I wish you and your dear mother the best.
https://www.findatopdoc.com/best-doctors/ma/chatham/geriatric-psychiatrist
I think you need to get her seen by her doctor. This could be a UTI, a mini stroke, a nutritional deficiency or something else causing sudden dementia like symptoms.
They will then be able to help you with her anxiety.
I agree UTI's can cause a lot of symptoms, so rule that out. Talk to your GP about anti-anxiety meds. There are all kinds. It may take a while to find the one that works best for your mom. We didn't want my MIL to take meds that would put her in a stupor or sleep all day. We just wanted to stabilize her anxiety through the day. She gets three, low dose pills a day. They have helped, but she still gets anxious about anything out of the ordinary and she will fixate on that. Try to distract her. It isn't easy! Just know you aren't alone!
Dementia does not come on suddenly, but it could be that you have just started noticing signs. The good news is that the stage where a person comprehends they are "losing it" passes. And with it the anxiety about developing dementia goes away. That can be a relief to the person because that realization is terrifying.
But the bad news is that once the person is beyond that stage all sorts of other problems and concerns arise.
I would suggest checking for a UTI, then getting an evaluation from a neurologist, then learning all you can about dementia. Knowledge is power! I found the book "The 25 Hour Day" very helpful.
Best of luck to you both.
contact her doctor.
UTI's can lead to fast, changes and the person can be very confused, get agitated. And UTI's can be life threatening in some cases.
The dementia is not a "sudden" thing that happens but comes slowly it is when something happens that "we" notice changes.
I would speak to her doctor about putting her on an anxiety medication for her anxiety and sundowning, and also start educating yourself about the disease of dementia, so you can better understand what may lie ahead for your mom, as eventually it will be much harder on you than it will be for your mom.
I wish you both the best.
It's called "sundowning" abd is sadly common in dementia patients.