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Mom lives with me and calls up relatives and accuses me of mistreating her. Not buying groceries, etc. Just always trying to make me look bad no matter how much I cater to her. It just get worse. The relatives believe her, but don't talk to me at all about it. They just post it on facebook and etc.

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Tell them to come to this site to educate themselves about dementia and Alzheimers. Tell them to go to Youtube and watch Teepa Snow's videos about dementia. Your relatives need to learn about the illness your mom has. If they're not willing to do that, then just stay away from them - they're ignorant.
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Do your relatives know that Mom has dementia? Do they understand what that means? Persons with dementia can live in their own reality. Mom is unhappy, probably with her diminished capacities. She can't remember simple things like eating breakfast. In her confused (and often paranoid) world, there is something drastically wrong and if she didn't get breakfast it must be because you didn't buy groceries. She is not "lying" -- she is trying without success to make sense of her new realities.

It is bad enough that you must deal with this on a daily basis and try to smooth her and keep her calm, without having presumably sane relatives picking on you too! If your relatives are truly concerned for your mother, they may be open to some education about dementia, and perhaps an invitation to spend some time with Mom.

If your relatives are just nasty busy-bodies with no real concern for anybody, I'd do my best to tune them out and not read their facebook posts.

If you are not sure which category they are in, or if some may be in one category and others in the other, give them all the benefit of the doubt and offer some education. Don't be argumentative about it, just offer information. Probably finding articles and sending them will be more convincing than just your word.

You are doing an awesome thing to care for your demented mother in your home. Bless you!

If anxiety is part of what is driving your mother's behavior, her doctor should be able to come up with some medication to help. Do discuss her behavior with someone knowledgeable, and disregard your relatives until/unless they improve their own knowledge base.
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NANNY CAM! Get a nanny camera to protect yourself. Ignore the Facebook BS and block anyone who badmouths you. Invite the helpful family members to spend a week with her and walk a mile in your shoes. I knew a woman whose mother kept saying "Your sister makes me sleep in the garage" and the idiots took it as fact. GEE WHIZ!!! Yes assign them all a day to take over. My SIL spent a full day with mom and came back saying "OMG! I had no idea! She's REALLY CONFUSED!!" Hold their feet to the fire.
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