My mother who is suffering with changes in behaviour and has Bell Palsy and she is taking multiple medication for it. She had EEG test done and the diagnosis were Mild atrophy and brain shrinkage. We have not yet run tests for possible dementia. However she has family members with Alzheimer and Dementia. Her relation with my dad was not really good and this has impacted her mental wellbeing, depression. This has caused stress and double work for me because both barely care for eachother so I am basically the husband and wife for both of them. Now I recently got married and will leave the country to join my husband and till now I have no idea what to do. My parents are in a third world country with limited resources and services for elderly care and what makes things complicated is my mum is a foreigner in my dads country so she doesnt have her family members around her. What made me worried is that currently she is taking medication for her Bells Palsy and I had a late lunch with a friend and was an hour late for my mums medication and I called my dad to ask and he gave the phone to my mum and she said she didnt take any medication and I told her not to until I am back and asked if she had dinner so she can take her supplement which is safe and easy to describe she also said no she didnt take it and also didnt eat and not planning to. When I got home I was shocked that my dad asked her if she took her medication so she went and took it and couldnt remember which one she took without even having dinner. I got angry with my dad as well for allowing her to take medication and he blames me for not filling him in on her medication, it is partially my fault for not doing that but he knows that shes not focusing properly and forgets a lot and he sees me giving her medication. We all had an argument and end up not doing anything. Until we start again tomorrow. I am really exhausted for trying to keep everything together and this shows that my parents are not able to manage on their own. Even simple thing like checking with me before allowing my mum to take her medication. And now my mum just shuts off and doesnt eat and basically doesnt really care about getting better.
You need to join your husband .
It’s harsh but this situation that you can not fix is not something that you should lose your marriage over .
Your parents lived their lives . Your mother chose to stay with your father all these years .
You deserve to live your life also . Choose to live with your husband .
The way I see this Mom may already have Alzheimers and this is a symptom. I really don't know how you can leave the country and not make sure resources are not in place for your parents. Not saying you don't deserve to live your life.
I read your last post and you say your parents are dependent on you but there are other children close by. Dad is in his 80s. What you may need to do is have a family meeting telling your siblings what day you are leaving. They need to work it out amoung themselves how their parents are going to be cared for. Mom will need to make up her mind if she is staying or going back to her own country. Being married and having kids does not mean a schedule cannot be worked out to help your parents. The best thing would be a nice care home. Is something like that available?
The Bells Palsy should right itself so no more meds for that.
It sounds like they both need to be in some kind of nursing facility(or at least your mum) if that is even an option in the country they live in, and perhaps for them to even separate or get a divorce, as life is too short to live in an unhappy marriage.
However since your are now married, your husband and marriage MUST come before your parents, and their ongoing issues. They may just have to figure things out on their own with the help of their government.