Dealing with elder care as a single person. Any tips?

Imho, youi'll need respite often, else you fall faint and ill.

I have been supervising my mother’s care for several years now. She has gone from living at home, to AL and is now in SNC with a poor prognosis. I am single and retired.

The most important advice I can give you is to care for yourself first, eat right, socialize, exercise, deal with your own life issues first.

And rely on experienced caregivers when ever possible, they know what they re doing and are, for the most part, honest and caring people who know what they are doing.

I am in your boat...the very first thing I can tell you, and I have taken many many caregiving classes, is what they say is true...make sure you keep up on your health!!! #1!!!, everything went downhill when I didn’t keep up with my health and I mean every-thing....
so make that #1 priority..
#2 take caregiving classes..
#3 ask for help
#4 go to support groups
#5 make sure you have fun and don’t stop talking to you’re friends like I did.

I am glad that you have your mother, in some ways, that can help. I had no one..

Please think of your own life as top priority. Please take care of yourself first.
Also, I found that going on this forum, reading articles, YouTube support vids help.

During this period of life, focus on safety, health, and comfort. Make sure their home environment is safe and that they have somebody there to help. Creating routines that you and all helpers follow will help your parents feel more in control and decrease any frustration/anxiety. Make sure your routines include regular meals, regular hygiene, regular times outside for sunshine, regular exercise to maintain muscles and bones, opportunities to socialize safely, and fun! - all needed for health. Discuss with all caregivers when and how to "flex" the routine for the comfort of your parents. Warm baths and warm compresses may be comforting for aching joints. Talk to the doctor about pain medications or repeated complaints of discomfort.

Lastly, you need to also treat yourself kindly. Make sure you get time off from caregiving to socialize with family or friends. Take care of your own health. Do things that don't include your parents that make life worthwhile.

Bless you. I don't have much to offer, but, I do empathize with you. I've been doing the same for my parents for a few years. Their health fluctuates, but, at times, it's not so bad. Occasional hospital visits, with daddy going to rehab last summer.

Dealing with the covid thing has been a struggle with them. I had to text my two brothers about it today. I've asked them to help me intervene. There'll likely be fireworks, but, I don't care. It's the right thing to do and lucky for me, I feel very confident when I do the right thing and they can't guilt me. lol I've already had to intervene once and even though my mom was furious with me, she later said I was right, apologized and told me she loved me and thanked me for doing it.

My conclusion is that I'm not going to continue trying to help them. I had almost gotten my own house renovated when covid hit. So......as soon as I can get it finished, I'm moving there and helping from 30 miles away. It's too stressful for me and not a healthy option. What I have discovered is that even if seniors do not have dementia, they are often very stubborn, arrogant and hell bent on things that are not in their own best interest. So, unless they become incompetent, (in which case, I'll intervene and take matters out of their hands), I'll go my own way.

Do you ever really get down being around people who are always talking about illness, sickness, pain, and stuff that needs to be done? My mom, who is also quite complicated (lol), has an insatiable desire for spotless windows, manicured yard, etc. She thinks others should be at her disposal every week. Okay, rant over. lol

So, I do wish you all the best. I know it's difficult. I have tried by doing the following: letting my parent's doctor know what's going on with them at home on their portals, talking to my cousin's hospice social worker and chaplan (I am also caregiver for my cousin who is in MC), FaceTime with my friends every week, text with other friends daily, listen to Zen music during the day, sleep with water sounds app, share at caregiver message boards, and PRAY a lot. lol

Yes no siblings here either, the help I have now is awesome and he has given me many pointers, but not long how long this will go on and am concerned that my mom will get worn out and sick. I'm handling it now but am concerned that it will overwhelm me. And I now take care of yourself first, hard to do when you're the only one.

I have been taking care of my 90 year old mom with PD for four years, and I'm single without sibling help. What I have found useful is a good PCP, having in-home therapists and a social worker come for about a month twice a year, and good respite caregivers each week. I have gleaned so much info from these professionals, they make sure you know you're not alone in this. They've given tips on her physical and psychological care, plus tips on dealing with house issues.