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My mother is constantly angry at me. I thought dementia made them have short term memory and they could be psychotic one minute and then forget about what they were mad about. Not mine. She can be mad all day long, go to bed and still be mad the next day. I've tried all the caregiver tips, being cheerful, or walking out of the room, redirecting. Nothing seems to work anymore. She can turn on the charm with neighbors and friends (ha the few times they call or come by)' I get out for a few hors to do very part time dog walking and still I come home to pouting or hateful remarks in between pouting . HELP.

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Kedwards, I have a friend with Parkinson's. She is nice to most everybody, but she can be a bearcat with her husband. Poor fellow gets the brunt of it. I don't know if she is mad at him all the time, but I know she is mad a lot. He still loves her, though, and sticks right there with her almost everywhere she is. We need a million more husbands like him.
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What does her Dr say about this constant anger? Frankly, it is no way for you to live and it sure doesn't help her. It seems every AD/Dementia/Parkinson person has it different, but... it's more the same traits, if that makes any sense? Lots to do with their adult life prior to this.... and for some reason I want to ask if your mom may have a UTI?... I know, I read this asked many times, up until last week when my mom was out of control and I had her checked... yep, sure enough. UTI. sigh...

How about just going about your day....try as much as humanly possible to ignore her anger without being too silent. It's a crap shoot for sure.

My mom at this very moment has been running around for the past two hours wondering what she should be doing? I take her outside, she's cold and want's in. I come in, she has to go somewhere? I go out and mow the grass, sit her in the lovely sun...she's scared and has to run somewhere... now it's just, "kill me now". They have such a hard time "relaxing". Oh, with my mom, she can no longer watch the news... strictly Disney Channel for her.

Good luck and post often, it helps :)
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I'm so sorry. We're in the same boat, except your mom is angry in her dementia, and mine is (what they described her at the nursing home for rehab) "pleasantly confused." I am blessed.

And, if I am blessed -- you are cursed.

One ray of hope: mom's dementia has ebbed/flowed/changed. For instance, she couldn't sleep. Now she can. She DEMANDED 'out of bed' at 5 AM. It was at THIS point she was at her worst in frame of mind. She doesn't do that anymore. Today? 9 AM.

As your mom's dementia progresses, and it always does, different parts of her brain will be effected. Whatever's 'in charge' now, probably won't be in charge too long.

*Shaking Head*

Earplugs??

I mean, sometimes you just have to laugh. ;)
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The Maggie. My mom has parkinsons too and she has become impossible. She has lost so much physically and within the last year or more mentally. I do have to help her wipe her butt. Mom sees the silent treatment as just another act of war.
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I can't imagine what that would be like. When mom gets hateful with me (seldom), I give her the passive-aggressive treatment: silence. In an hour, she's forgotten.

Frankly? If mom continued all day and into the evening? That would be a break for me. I'm her little feet -- jumping up dozens of times a day to get her things. If she gave ME the silent treatment, I'd consider myself blessed. ;)

"Yeah, thanks, mom. But I don't want to listen to that today." Then YOU get quiet. As we age (and, of course, dementia makes it allll worse!), we lose control of just about everything in our lives. Heck, I have to remind mom to wipe her butt. In fact? I have to remind her to put one foot in front of the other. (Parkinson's) If mom had too much cognizance, she'd probably be furious, too.

Patience. Inner strength. Exercise the stress away. If you HAVE to, when she's disrespecting you, remind her that all good things come from you right now. It works with dogs. ;) again
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