My father and grandfather (my mother's ex husband and father) have told me for years that my mother is narcissistic. I guess I never thought it through. I knew she was difficult, controlling, and self centered but I never made the narcissistic connection. I have been reading a lot about borderline/narcissistic parents and I was shocked when I could come with an example with my mother for nearly every example that was provided. I feel like so many things make sense to me now. As a child and teenager my mother wanted to CONSTANTLY be talking to me. From the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep. She wanted to be talking to me. If I shifted my gaze (and she noticed) she'd flip out and accuse me of not paying attention to her. She still does to me as an adult! I never knew that was a narcissistic sign. She says she doesn't remember traumatizing things from my childhood that involved her, and the things she does remember (from childhood and adulthood) are my fault somehow. 2 years ago she offered to take me to the doctor when I was sick (she can't drive unless someone is in the car with her) I thought she was being nice, but she really want to run errands for herself. She needed her ID for something and couldnt find it (she loses EVERYTHING) and I said exasperated, "Why can't you just put it in the same place every time?" And she slapped me across the face. It all makes sense now, though. I guess I was looking for others in similar situations... how did you know you were dealing with a borderline/narcissistic parent? And what steps did you take?