Not all parents are selfish. However, you read the posts here, much of elderly behaviour is selfish. I would have to put it at least 85% if not higher. I suppose the question becomes is the elderly cognizant of the fact that they are acting contrary to their own childs needs, wants, and the child's own family. Even your mention of the brochure to your own parents and their brush off of it: are they considering their interests, or yours? Are they aware of the impact they are having on your life? Granted, I do not know your story, but this could also be considered... Reading the posts here , a looot of elderly behaviour is selfish. How aware these elderly are of the impact they have can be debated. Much of this behaviour is driven by fear. Stark raving fear. Abandonment, etc. I also think a lot of caregivers here are dealing with parents who have been narcissists their entire lives. There are more narcs out there than people realize and they do not improve in old age. Finally, the nature of this board is to vent. The frustrations of care givers range from mild annoyance to life threatening reactions to the stress. As such, people who have good situations with elderly parents will not be likely to come here. anyway, again, not all parents are selfish. Best of luck to you.
twocents, I really don't think ones parents are selfish... I think it is more like they are in denial about their current situation and think moving to a retirement village is for "old people".
When I gave my parents a brochure for this wonderful 55+ retirement village which is more like a 5-star resort, Dad said it looked really nice, they will think about it in a couple of years. HELLO... couple of years? My parents are 93 and 97...[sigh].
I know what you mean by resentment. How I wished my parents would have planned better for their retirement.... they have the funds, but they refuse to move to a retirement village where they would have enjoyed more of their retirement years and where I wouldn't be under so much stress.
One thing I have been trying to do is to find a sense of humor in the things they do and say. Things that got me tied into a knot a few years ago I can now tell with a sense of laughter.
I suppose the question becomes is the elderly cognizant of the fact that they are acting contrary to their own childs needs, wants, and the child's own family.
Even your mention of the brochure to your own parents and their brush off of it: are they considering their interests, or yours? Are they aware of the impact they are having on your life? Granted, I do not know your story, but this could also be considered...
Reading the posts here , a looot of elderly behaviour is selfish. How aware these elderly are of the impact they have can be debated. Much of this behaviour is driven by fear. Stark raving fear. Abandonment, etc. I also think a lot of caregivers here are dealing with parents who have been narcissists their entire lives. There are more narcs out there than people realize and they do not improve in old age.
Finally, the nature of this board is to vent. The frustrations of care givers range from mild annoyance to life threatening reactions to the stress. As such, people who have good situations with elderly parents will not be likely to come here.
anyway, again, not all parents are selfish.
Best of luck to you.
When I gave my parents a brochure for this wonderful 55+ retirement village which is more like a 5-star resort, Dad said it looked really nice, they will think about it in a couple of years. HELLO... couple of years? My parents are 93 and 97...[sigh].
One thing I have been trying to do is to find a sense of humor in the things they do and say. Things that got me tied into a knot a few years ago I can now tell with a sense of laughter.