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Try the Agency on aging in your area. They can give you info and help if you are out of your element. Medicare.gov also has some good info.
You can google anything that comes to mind and get knowledge.
The better you educate yourself the easier it will be.
Get a doctor involved. If your father doesn't want to "go to the doctors" have the doctor come to him! Yes... there are still doctors that will make home visits! Sometimes all you have to do is ask. AND, you don't have to warn your father about the visit. Just make sure Dad is there for the visit!
If your father was a veteran, get the VA involved in getting him the proper medical help that it seems he needs!
Abusive or not, we would be 'no better' if we did nothing to help them. After all, 'we' are all they have when it comes to understanding! I say this out of love and respect for all humans, not to upset anyone. But please try to help or get a group involved that is used to dealing with aging parents.
If he doesn't respect you now, chances are he never will.
If he does come to respect you, it may be waaaaay down the road.
Senoir living facilities are full of folks that won't show love or respect to their families. They may be lonely but it's of their own doing.
Guard yourself.
Bottom line is that we caregivers also must learn to care for ourselves.
Protecting yourself as suggested above is important. Writing to us to know you are not alone helps a little, but how you feel is determined by how you set your mind. Good luck!@
Come back later when things are more calm.
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