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I have to go in the restroom with husband while cleaning up where he missed the toilet he told me he was going to yell I was hitting him. We were at the dentist office.
Apparently he was mean to his children when they were growing up -
Now he is mean to me and when I try to talk to his son - he says all I do is complain about his Dad. I have tried telling his son more than once how lonely and hard caregiving is -

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I actually passed out in his hospital room a year and a half ago in front of his children and stayed day & night with him in hospital and rehab - when we came home , no help from them. I fell 3 months ago , broke my foot and wrist - they took turns staying at night for 3 weeks.
My husband has PSP - balance is a big problem (he can not be left alone) he also has a feeding tube, he is not suppose to have anything by mouth - for 11 months his children let him eat (I knew nothing about it) . I took him to the hospital many times - aspiration pneumonia . He is paying the price now for eating (scar tissue on lungs, coughs all the time - this damage is not fixable). He takes all his frustration out on me - I did talk to an elder care attorney last year, husband would not go with me.
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Why bother telling his son about it when you know he doesn't understand? Or, more likely, that he doesn't WANT to understand? Forget it. Get your support from your own family, your friends, and whatever social agency(Ives) your area has that can help. Get busy with that today.

As to your restroom experience, don't worry about it a bit. People who have been caregivers will understand; most others will understand as well -- by the mere fact that you are accompanying him to the restroom.

That your husband threatened to make this accusation tells us that he has dementia in one form or another. Social services, adult protective services, law enforcement has heard it all before. Don"t worry too much about any accusations he may make. This assuming his accusations are all baseless.

Please don't do what others have done -- waited too long to protect your own rights. Call an elder law attorney right now for an informational meeting. The day may come when you are no longer able to care for your husband. You want to preserve as many of your assets as possible.
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If you've tried to explain to your stepson the difficulty you're having with his dad and the stepson hasn't been understanding I would stop talking to him about it. The stepson has shown you where he stands and has demonstrated that you can't count on him for anything.

The people on this site know how lonely and difficult it is being a caregiver. Come here as much as you can to rant or just to vent your feelings and frustrations.

How about your husband's other grown children? Are they supportive?
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