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So we finally decided to take my mom to a nursing. She wasn't able to stand anymore and we once found her on her chair where she had been for 3 hours. Next day, had to get up at night to help her off the toilet. We were happy with what we saw, but right off the bat we had concerns since no one took the timed to "welcome" her and offer any feedback on what was going to happen next. The CNA came in, the nurse came in, but that was it. But I think this is more or less normal. I was in a nursing home for broken feet and no one came to talk to me until I asked. So, I wasn't so concerned and I brought it up to the Director of Admissions. But, now, only 7 days after getting her in, her cell pone is "missing." and they can't find it. Do I report it as a theft? I thought I was going to have less stress! Saw her Sunday, but didn't touch base again because she told my sister she was happy she wasn't going to see me; so decided to go once a week. In any instance I could call her. Very upset!!

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For the most part nursing homes are under staffed and over booked with patients. When my mother-in-law had to go to a NH for rehab for a broken hip, we saw that up close and personal like. First of all I had to mark all her clothes so they wouldn't wind up in someone elses closet. She would be missing stuff all the time, but we would eventually find it. I would start looking around for the cell phone, and if and when you find it, make sure you mark it distinctly as hers. I put bling on everything my mother-in-law owns now. Since she can't hardly see, she can feel the rhinestones etc that I put on her stuff. Also what I did personally, was start taking a platter of cookies in for the people that worked with m-i-l on a regular basis once a week. They knew my name, and gave her more attention. It's the whole 'honey and vinegar' idea. The people that work in a nursing home are doing a thankless job, a stinky thankless job, and I wanted to brighten their day once in a while. My mother-in-law was encouraged to get in her wheelchair and get herself around when she wasn't doing the rehab thing, and she enjoyed seeing different things instead of being in her room all day. I myself also came and showered her a few times when she told me that they were being too rough. The problem was, they have X amount of people to shower everyday, and can't take the time that I could. It was a little embarrassing at first, but then she and I laughed so much during the shower, it was a piece of cake.
Good luck, it's no picnic but it can always be worse.
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thanks for your comment. the phone was eventually found. it was washed and they said they would pay for a replacement. it is a very nice and caring place, just worried for the best care for my mom.

thanks again.
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