How do you deal with the loneliness of being a 24/7 caregiver of an elderly parent?

I come on here and rant and rave and trust me this is the best family you can ever have - love em

Yep Allison a lot of us do and like you we are all burned out too but you must see to your own health first - if you fall really ill who will care - respite is essential and if you can get mum to a day centre once a week it would help too. You need to see a doc for that depression - it won't get better on its own hun xxx If you don't have a break you will break so sort it - see that as your goal and work towards it. Try your local charities - I have no idea of your financial status or your mums but in the event money is a challenge try the church they may be able to help too

You also find websites like this to make cyberfriends; you can do it while your parent is sleeping.

Family and friends may not visit for a few reasons, one of which is they just don't know what to say or do when they visit. They may feel awkward.

I just would like to thank you Jude and college for your excellent advices and an emotional support.
It means so much to me..
I felt all alone and hopeless until I found this web page has
Comfort me so much. I used to work as a full time work
And had friends before now I am stucked with my mother. I loss of contact with my friends and feel so isolated. This web site is like a family..
Thank you for sharing
Your story and your encouragement.

You ask the MD to assign aides or a visiting nurse, so you can get a break. You can't take care of anyone 24/7 for very long without crashing physically and emotionally. You call those friends/relatives and ask " Can you stay with mom while I go out?" and set up a schedule.

Does anyone here as an only child and have to do
Everthing for 24/7 and have no life of own your own?
I feel I am totally burn out and feeling of hopeless and depressed..
I don't know how long I have to care for my frail
Mom, who is suffering from Alzheimer's disease.
I am in my forties and i feel like I am missing out so much in my like. My mother is in her late 80s.

Allison, I am an only child and my Father passed on 36 yrs ago from massive heart attack at 65. He had never been sick before. After that Momma became my dependent. She helped a lot with our three girls. She started slowing down about 15 yrs ago. Then she quit walking Feb 2nd 2013, since then it has been rough. I had to quit working and became 24/7 with her. Four months later my husband was diagnosed with dementia. We are all burned out and take one day at a time. I get one of my daughters to sit with Mom and I get things we need once a week. I take my husband with me. I get 12 hours a month respite and the rest of the time I need help I pay for a home health aid. It gets expensive so I have to be careful and budget. Welcome to the Family of Caregivers. We have good days and bad days and I pray a lot. I am a lot older than you, I am 68 now and my Mother is 94. But we all want our life back in the future if we make it. Jude gave you some good information, take care of your health first. Lots of hugs!

Allison, one thing you can do if you get away is to join your local recreation center program if your city has one. Cities set up gyms and exercise classes for people who pay the membership fee -- usually small. These are excellent places to meet and chat with people. And you get your exercise at the same time. Many times the rec centers are at the city parks. Membership fee is small, unlike the gyms we see advertized. And the people are really normal looking. They come there for the same reason we do.

The way I deal with it is by constantly reminding myself 1) this is for a period of time, although no clue how long 2) i will live with myself 'after' knowing I'm doing the right thing and everything i can for my parents 3) one day too soon they won't be here :( 4) try to make the most of any free time. But all in all i too am very lonely but now we have a new friend that gets it! :)

Allison, I am an only child too, taking care of my bedridden Mom 24/7. At first I felt really depressed but then realized I had better try to take care of myself for my Mom's sake and for my future as well. I meditate quite a bit and sit in my garden if even for a few brief moments. I try to exercise a bit even if it is the last thing I feel like doing and always feel good after I do. The other caregivers on this website have gotten me through some very rough times and many bad days as these are some of the strongest people you will ever encounter in your life. I do believe that after caregiving...any other job would be a cake walk and that we are getting stronger each day we do this.