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I have been taking care of her for 10 years. My mother has suffered from mental illness for 30 years and now also has dementia. She functions on the level of a 4-5 year old and cannot be left alone. She goes to daycare when I am at work and I have had a hard time finding reliable home care assistance. I have a sister but she doesn't understand and is always too busy to help.

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There should be no guilt in having to look for help. My mother lived with me for 26 years. You know in your heart that you cannot do it all anymore, so you take the next step. Your guilt is self-inflicted. You are entitled to your own life again.
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Medwards, I want you to ask yourself this question:

If I drop dead tomorrow (from stress induced illness), where will my mom be?

The answer is, in a facility of the state government's choice, without an advocate.

Wouldn't it be better if you were her loving child, visiting and advocating? Fully 1/3 of all caregivers die before their charges do. You are human, vulnerable and mortal. Put on your own oxygen mask first.
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