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Husband has been diagnosed with Dementia. There is little to no real no conversation. He just asks question after question, most of which have been answered over and over again. How to deal with this situation without blowing a fuse?

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Freqflyer if I were you, I'd write out a big simple sign and tape it to the side of your dad's monitor that says "You can't download because you're on dial-up." Depending on how old your dad is, you might get it to "stick" more if you tell him if he pays more, he would be able to download. My depression-era parents remember anything to do with spending/saving money. That might work as a memory trigger for him. But as I said before with my mom and her memory, it's a mystery. Who knows whether that would work or not?? :)
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I'm glad we are having this discussion.... it helps me understand my Dad who repeats the same question just once a week for the past couple of years.... he keeps asking why he can't download anything on his computer to which I answer each time, because you are still on dial-up. I honestly believe Dad is the only person in our large metro area still using dial-up.... [sigh]

Captain, over the past couple months I've been following your postings.... and what is going on with your Aunt Edna, and the rest of your family/friends... and I admire your common sense and sense of humor dealing with everything that is going on. Keep us smiling :]
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Sunnygirl isn't it interesting how they can remember some things and not others? My background is in psychology and I tell my mom all of the time her brain is a mystery to me. She can hold some things clearly in her memory and other things (that are pretty important) are gone like a wisp of smoke.

I just don't understand the mechanisms for what stays and what goes. Is it related to tiredness? Importance? How much other stuff she's thought about that day? Where she is in her medication absorption? It's a total mystery to me. I test little theories, but so far, there's no rhyme or reason to what my mom remembers or forgets. If there was any pattern, then I could try to work with that, but so far, no pattern. :(
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I encounter the same thing with my cousin. She literally asks the same question at least 20 times in a few minutes. Each time I answer the question and in a few second she asks the same question as if for the first time. This continues for an hour or more constantly. I have explained to her that she is repeating this and that I have repeated the answer over 20 times, but she doesn't get it. We write the answers out and tape them to the wall in front of her, but she will not read it unless I direct her to it.

Still, there are some things she remembers just fine, like things she has seen in the yard that day, the clothes she has picked out, what favorite foods and beverages she's out of, if the mail has come, what's on tv and a few other things. She hasn't forgotten about her going to rehab.(Assited Living) She's remembering that just fine. It's a mystery.
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My mom does this and sometimes I just can't go through it again. I've tried different things, like writing out the answers in big black Sharpee...then I tell her to read the answer. Or I tell her we've already discussed it 20X (why her foot is red) and even that satisfies her - without me going through it again. It is SUPER frustrating. And I don't live with my mom, I just see her every day. I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to live with someone asking the same thing over and over again all day, every day. Those of you who do live with someone with this have my utmost respect and admiration. It takes the patience of Job to deal with it in a loving way.
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Don't feel bad. My mother had a check to deposit into the bank. She asked me about it 4x in 15 minutes. This is a daily occurrence. If it isn't the check, it's another question, but they are stuck in a movie reel on repeat where they forget you have answered. It can get frustrating but then you have to consider the source...keep your cool, and just answer it again. And again. And again, with patience, like you are autopilot.
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Pace yourself. As mentioned above, keep it simple and concise - you're going to be saying it a lot, unfortunately. If I got a nickel every time my great-grandmother (93 with vascular dementia) asked me if she has had her pills today, I'd probably have close to $10 now, and we've only had her living with us for three weeks.

The good news is that you will learn to somewhat tune it out - the answers become automatic in no time for most. I find the repetition one of the easier features to deal with.
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Are he still living at home, with you taking care of him 24/7? If so, can you arrange some respite care at all? This behavior is one that I have a very hard time being patient with. I haven't lost my patience yet with my mother, but I don't live with her. I do have to keep my visits to no more than 4 hours or so though, and by the time it's over, I'm exhausted.
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Have a prepared answer that satisfies the question, that you can say every time he asks the question. And know you will be saying it many times over, so keep it concise. that is the only way. Just answer it, and not think about it. My mom used to ask me who is alive in the family, and who is dead. I called it the Litany of the Dead, and one afternoon I repeated it 6 times in one hour. If I refused, she would keep asking. Then she kept asking anyway! I just recited the list and tried not to dwell on it.
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#@$ !!
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Only serious, helpful answer, please.
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if you are paying attention its clear that the meds they give him are enough for two people .
i stopped by aunt ednas this afternoon after work . she talks in circles about the things coming out of her nose or her ass -- but shes considerate enough to wait until youre eating something.
eh , the old gal aint gonna be around long . if shock jock - ery is her current pleasure , wth ? shed have to nuke russia to get the drop on my head..
id still eat my stale dressing
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