My mother likes to argue and is very stubborn. I'm getting sick of her arguing with me. How can I deal with this behavior?

Does he have a doctor? If so, talk to him about getting some meds to calm him down. You can always slip them into his favorite food. Once you get him calmed down, you might be able to talk to him. If he does have dementia, he's probably very frightened and reacting badly because of this. Talk to anyone working with the elderly and see what kind of advice they can give you. Good luck!

I have been taking care of my 81yr. old Dad 4 2yrs. He has Dementia but is in Compleat denile !! WONT go 2 DRS. No Meds. & he is out of control . I never knew what i was getting into . I,m a "PRISONER in my SMALL RM". He is ALWAYS MEAN & MISERABLE !! I never know WHAT the day is going 2 bring when i open my door 2 walk out 2 the bathroom ! I always have my door 2 my room "Barricaded" so he can't come in. His temper is unreal & he has NO SENSE. I don't know what i'm gonna have 2 do, but my life ENDED 2 YRS. AGO. i am here 24/7 w/ NO HELP. i, not sure what 2 do. I have POA. & Guardianship. Any ideas ?

Deefer12, Thanks for the "clam up" advice. I have on occasion bitten my tounge for fear of what might come out and didn't realize that it worked to diffuse the situation!
I've always been of the opinion (having had cats) that sometimes negative attention is better than none at all to them!
Don't take the bait! That's what they want! Problem is that's what the devil wants also. Does he take advantage of our loved ones weakened condition to poke at us? Yes! Is it hard to resist? Yes! But no weapon formed against us shall prosper!
We just keep loving them, and loving them and loving them!
We place all our trust in God and He makes our path straight!

I, too am beginning to see this argumentativeness as part of her illness and losing control over her life as she was very active before her stroke and Kidney transplant. So, hang in there.

Hi Cameron~Your Mom may be verbally abusive for a variety of reasons-and perhaps not even aware of her abusiveness. If you can have a conference with the staff as well as the doctor who sees her there-perhaps they can give you some reasons as to why this is happening and what possibly can be done. When I volunteer at a nearby nursing home, I also see this going on at times with some of the patients there.
Try not to take any offense of this behavior-but get to the bottom of this matter.
Good Luck!
Hap

I know what you mean. Mom with dementia, is not really Mom anymore. I have been caring for her 24/7, for 2 years now. Sometimes we fight like cats and dogs. Comes with the territory! I don't know any 2 people that could stand each other 24/7 without getting testy.(sometimes a lot) When Mom gets nasty and tells me to shut up, I clam up and stop talking to her. She soon misses my big mouth, and starts acting human again, to get attention. Now that I have a CNA here almost every day, she does the same to her! It's just another aspect of care giving that we have to deal with. Good luck!

I also refuse to argue with my mom anymore .... she can be very argumentative and this behavior comes and goes. I see it as her way of trying to "hold on" ...... when I remember that she isn't quite herself anymore then I can make a decision as to not let her negative behavior affect me ..... easier said than done, tho. She seems to want to pick an argument when I'm driving her someplace in the car --- so I start thinking of more joyful things and ignore her.

when she wants to argue , tell her ure not going to aruge and walk away ,
it always works for me . no point in standing there and aruge about nonsense .