I think its hard for any Male to give up their independence..to be the ones who made the income for the family and now they dont feel like that so anger may just be an smoke screen ..just be patient..maybe give him a card with 20$ in it..and say Thanks for your Smile..and that is kinda reverse Psychology..but it is also a gesture of Love. & We All need LOve!! try it.......(hint)..hugs, me.
duccie, it sounds like it is time for the doctor to step in. My first thought was the sudden change may indicate some frontal lobe problem. We can see huge changes in personality with frontal lobe damage caused by trauma, stroke, or other things. I wondered if there was anyway you could have the professionals look at his brain to see. I would be frightened of him if he continued to behave this way.
My mom says "no" to almost anything unfamiliar or that is a change. Rather than argue with her, I let it go. Depending what it is, I can sometimes think of ways to present it in a new way at a later time, but maybe in a way that makes her think it's appealing, or that it's not as much of a change as she thought it was. For other types of things, if I just take her someplace, she is okay with it even though she said she wasn't.
For example, if I tell her she's getting another test done on her, she might argue and refuse. When I take her to the labs, she recognizes having been there and actually doesn't care, after all.
Sometimes, people argue because they fear change, sometimes they're just feeling crabby. It kind of depends on the situation what's going to work with the person you're dealing with. Sometimes, nothing works, at all.
Calling 911 over a grumpy mood seems like a waste of resources on an already stressed healthcare system. Maybe a routine visit to the doctor for advice and possibly medication to make mom or dad less anxious and argumentative would be a good idea.
You may need to detach somewhat and just refuse to get into an argument about everything and et boundaries if possible. some things she can not have control over and some things she can-leaving the room or her space may help and if things continue and it is your home you may want to think about placement or if possible AL-if it is your home you should not be expected to have to put up with constant upheaval on a daily basis.
My answer is to not live with my mother. I lived 1800 miles away on purpose for 20 years, until last November when I had to move her nearby. Now, I just leave when she gets pissy. If I had a dollar for every time one of us has hung up on the other, I'd go to Hawaii! She has been negative for her whole life, and with demetia, her real bratty self is amplified. I have to have an escape or it would be bad. Real bad.
I forgot to say she is in AL about a mile away, not in my home. 3 1/2 weeks in my home made all of nearly suicidal. I was ready to put her on the curb.
There are wonderful people who are sometimes parents,sometimes dear friends who find arguing with you is a way to vent. Let them. It is not personal. These may be the same people who put up with your moods or others moods. Better they vent with you than someone who does not matter that would put them down.
& We All need LOve!! try it.......(hint)..hugs, me.
For example, if I tell her she's getting another test done on her, she might argue and refuse. When I take her to the labs, she recognizes having been there and actually doesn't care, after all.
Sometimes, people argue because they fear change, sometimes they're just feeling crabby. It kind of depends on the situation what's going to work with the person you're dealing with. Sometimes, nothing works, at all.
These may be the same people who put up with your moods or others moods. Better they vent with you than someone who does not matter that would put them down.