My father had two strokes on Christmas day. He stayed in the first hospital for a month, the acute care hospital for three months, hospice for two weeks, the local hospital for two weeks, a rehab center for 4 days, coded, and was sent back to the original hospital. He has been there for 5 weeks now and I have stood over him three times as he has almost died during the past 5 weeks. My mother will not sign a DNR and she is a handful on a daily basis because she wants to be independent despite health issues and her age (82). 4 out of the 6 places my father has been in requires a drive of up to 100 miles one way. I am so weary and feel guilty about my feelings. My father is a brave and strong man who is suffering. My siblings do not live near my parents. I live 12 miles from their house. How do all of you deal with this type of stress? I am crying a great deal in private. Is this normal? I am at peace with my father dying and have been grieving throughout this process. I have just found out that Dad is being moved again soon. I think I need to curl up in bed and sleep for a long period. Has anyone else reached this point?

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RLP, you have come to the right place. Many here have been in your shoes, in very difficult situations. It is entirely normal for you to be weary and prone to tears. You have been through a lot. Your father has been close to dying several times now and this has taken a lot out of you. As caregivers, we can be getting drained far more than we realize. Just let the tears come and cry all you need to. I think it is healthy that you are crying a great deal in private, as you say. I'm sorry your mother is being so uncooperative. That is certainly not what you need right now. You do sound like you need support. If I were you, I would talk to your father's doctor and any nurses too. I have done this with regard to my parents' care and have found support this way. You aren't getting much if any support from your sibs, so you need to look elsewhere.----and the medical professionals is a good place to start. What a blessing that you are at peace with your father's nearing the end of his life. You say he is brave and strong, so hopefully he is at peace too. Take care and come back here as you feel the need.
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