How do I deal with sibling who gave me nothing but grief in the recent past?

How sad and terrible for you.
I always said i would never fight over
Death money. And i did not have to i was left out due to scheming of others.

We have had to part ways with the brother of my Alzheimer's (59 year old) husband. Brother had no empathy, no compassion, and absolutely no understanding (he's a doctor). If his participation was not around his schedule or his direction then he was unwilling to help. Husband and I felt awful every time we were around this brother. No more. Very sad, yet very easy.

Another good example of the saying... You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. Hopefully you've some good friends to give you support during this trying time.

I feel so very blessed to have two brothers and myself all on the same page. My little brother and sis in law are taking care of dad in their home, and are getting paid for it, plus perks (dad roofed their house, helped them pay for a new septic system and is now putting in a storm shelter for them). I have POA and help with financial matters, but give my little brother and sis in law free reign in taking care of dad and my older brother is on board with it all. We don't care if Dad uses every penny he has helping them out. They are making the end years of Dad's life as good as it can be. What price that? I am blessed not to have horrible siblings like so many in here... I'm so sorry for you all. Heading to my Brother's in a week from now to give them a long weekend of freedom from caregiving. It's a 7 hour drive, but I love hanging with my dad...I'm taking him gambling (his favorite thing to do) so wish us luck!

FWIW, Arlene, a lot of doctors just can't imagine that life is worth living as imperfections and incurable illnesses creep in, and so they avoid...and it is also for some of us very hard to reduce time spent at work unless there are a lot of colleagues who can take up the slack. There are times when the obligations to patients are absolute but of course he should have been there for you a lot more and been there FOR you both when he was there.

Thanks, What does FWIW mean?

For what it's worth?

Thanks!

It is during times of stress and challenges that true character is revealed. Pay close attention and then move on and away from those who don't care.

amen...move away...that's what im doing when my parents pass! moving far, far, far away from those to rotten brothers!!

anon: It is sad when family members act like jerks, but I'm going to share with you what one of my friends said to me once---"just because they've ruined their lives, does not give them the right to ruin yours."