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Caring for mom can be more difficult than I ever imagined. I have been caring for my mom since my dad passed away last year. She moved in with me and my family and turned my life upside down. She almost burned the house down by leaving the stove on, flooded the house by leaving faucets on, putting dirty dishes on the clean dish rack to dry, etc. She would also have strange behaviors talking to people that are not there, having weird stories that I or my family cannot comprehend and weird noises she makes as too fend off voices?. I even brought in a priest to bless her and the house but it still continued. I would even take her to church with me every Sunday. It has been a nightmare! She is finally in an assisted living center that can take care of her since being diagnosed with dementia/schizophrenia. I am sort of getting my life back to normal except I have a brother who thinks he is entitled to mom's money. I am the POA and keep telling him all that I do is for the best interest of mom and the money is for her care. I will be selling one of the houses to help pay for her care and to set up her qualifying for Medicaid in a few years. Has anyone had to deal with so much pain, frustration, and anger. I still love my mom no matter what happens but my relationship with my brother has been strained. Shame what money does to people.

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Yes I have dealt with the pain of the entire family as the family scapegoat. I am encouraged that you have a sense of future. I want to feel that.
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You are doing exactly what you should be doing as POA. Keep it up. Your poor mom chose you for that role for a reason! Stay strong.

It may or may not help if you explain to your brother how Medicaid works. If your mom's care uses up all her money and assets she will need to apply for Medicaid. They look back at all her financial transactions for 5 years. If she has given assets (including money) away, she will be disqualified for a period of time. Who will pay for her care during that time? Your brother?

Shame what money does to people. To give brother the benefit of the doubt maybe he thinks that getting rid of her money will put her in a better position to receive financial aid. He needs to know that is not true.
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I can relate to so much of what you are writing about. Its hard being a daughter. You tried and tried and that is more than your brother. Your mother is lucky to have you as her advocate. But you are right its an absolute struggle trying to do the right thing. There are so many raw emotions involved. And to have an unhelpful sibling or worse one only interested is more money, is more salt in our wounds. Please continue to do what you think is best and ignore your brother.
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