My father fell in his home and suffered a spinal cord injury back in November. I was luckily at home when he fell and called an ambulance for him to go to the hospital.
He had back surgery the next day to decompress the spine and he is a quadraplegic, he has been in and out of rehab for the last 3 months. We are hoping for him to get better and regain some functionality.
My mother and I are arranging for him to come home. We lived in a house with steps and with his current condition , house is not conduisve for him and we are currently about to move into an apartment. He is very homesick and sick of rehab, and we are trying to arrange for his home health services when he comes home.
For the last three months me and my mom have been through a roller coaster ride. I told my parents, that I will become a caregiver for him when he is home and signed up for home health aide classes. Everything, I have been doing has been for my father and cause I love. I have been there washing his clothes, giving him restaurant food (he hates rehab food) and doing a lot of arrangements for the apartment.
Then we were talking how of the blue he said that I took pleasure in seeing him suffer. I was so shocked by what he said and insulted, because it was a jerk thing to say and also that he tried to paint me as a nasty person as I am far from it. I was very shocked and very hurt by what he said,even my mother was shocked.
I know that he is depressed and feels helpless, he has been in and out of rehab and hospitals, he has never been in a hospital before in his long life. I can understand the culture shock, and we try to give him hope of the new apartment which he is looking forward to.
The last he should do is take it out on his family.
I am doing whatever I can to help him as a new caregiver, I am nervous about the emotional conflict and aspect of being his caregiver. I can tolerate things but never nastiness from anybody, if I am doing something noble and supportive for them.
What advice and support do you have from being caregivers yourselves and dealing with nastiness and taken for granted aspect of being a caregiver.