I have lived my entire life with my alcoholic and prescription drug abuser mother. I have always tried to "out" my mother. I would tell my dad, I told a teacher, I would dump my mother's vodka bottles and fill them with water, I would leave notes begging her to stop, and I would confront her face to face. I left home as soon as I had the opportunity and moved to another state. God gave me my husband, a wonderful gift, to help me heal. 20 years later we have returned to help my sister care for my parents. I remember, due to my mothers addictions, my older sister was 9 years old and making dinners, cleaning the house, and caring for me. She moved back about a year before we did and is currently living with my parents.
Both my sister and my father do not drink and they will barely take Motrin. My father is an enabler. My sister does everything she can to ignore the situation.
My mother is only 66 years old but presents herself as a much older and frail adult. Throughout my life, my mother has had numerous needless surgeries to help feed her prescription drug addiction. She is a Diabetic, has had several bouts of uncontrolled Atrial Fibrillation, she is in Congestive Heart Failure, and has High Blood Pressure. She has had seizures, several stents, strokes, and heart attacks.
About 9 months ago my mother had a seizure. I believe the seizure was due to an overdose of insulin or something else. However, the Neurologist put her on a high dose of Keppra. She couldn't walk, talk, feed herself, and started to soil her pants. She was admitted into a nursing home. This was my opportunity to finally get her clean. My husband and I worked hard with the nursing home to get her off of all pain killers. When she left the nursing home she was still taking 1 Ambien a night and Keppra. We stopped the Ambien shortly after she arrived home but we had to slowly take her off of the Keppra and only recently was she taken off it completely.
She was doing GREAT! My sister took control of her medicine. She couldn't drive anywhere so I knew she couldn't go get anything. I thought that this was it, she was finally clean. Ha! If only I had $1.00 for every time I spoke those words. I don't know what happened. I warned my sister to lock up all medicine. I warned my dad to let my sister pick up all the prescriptions. I told them many times...one pharmacy and only one pharmacy. I needed to make contact with the Pharmacist to help us maintain a list of current medications. I even helped get all of my mother's medicine in containers, color coded, and made a list instructions on each medicine. Slowly it all started and I would warn and warn again and again. They never changed to only 1 Pharmacy. They use two pharmacies because the military pharmacy will fill a prescription before they the 30 days. Between many doctors (Cardiologist, General Physician, and whoever else she went too) they would add medicine and stop medicine. My sister makes many mistakes trying to keep up with it all. Recently my dad had surgery to get ready for dentures and had pain medicine at the house. I warned my sister. She phoned and said 10 were missing from the bottle. We couldn't tell if it was my mom or the neighbor who picked them up at the pharmacy for my dad. About a month later she started falling and acting really odd. Her CHF was beginning to be symptomatic again. I went and bought her a medical hospital bed because she couldn't sleep lying flat. Still falling out of bed in the middle of the night. My dad and sister so tired from very little sleep. A few weeks later....my dad phoned and said he found my mom with a bottle of Ambien 10mg. She had been taking 3 a night. That is why she was falling and she knew we were all so worried about her. Now....I found out she was falling out of bed because she was taking 3 Ambien per night.
I am done. I have done all I can do. I have no more fight in me left. I can not go to all her doctors appointments, I can't be at the house to give her medicine 3 times a day. I can not change the enablers around my mom. I have two children and a full time job. I REFUSE TO PUT MY CHILDREN THROUGH THIS CRAP. I did not move here to put them through the hell that I grew up with. Summer is here and my children are out of school. My dad is 77 years old. He can't do this either. My sister has a son and works full time. We are all exhausted. I don't WANT TO TAKE CARE OF MY MOTHER. She wasn't a mother to me growing up. It angers me that my dad has let this addiction be what his entire life was about. He deserves so much better but he just keeps enabling her, over and over.
I want to walk away and NEVER LOOK BACK. I am sorry I ever moved back here! I am so angry that I brought my husband and my kids into this complete MESS! I don't want to live near her anymore! I am 40 years old and I don't want to spend one more second of my life dealing with this addiction of hers