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She had been living at home with part time caregivers, but a series of falls and becoming disoriented/confused along with her vision completely dwindling. Had me and my sister traveling to get her. She has 3 sisters and a son close by but none of them want to deal with her. Our plan had been to spend down her money and join Medicaid and have the option of home health care waivers. But then questions like what if Medicaid decides it's less money to put her in nursing home, because IMO she needs a live in companion, 24/7 and her finances are limited. Then what? They take her home and stick her somewhere? Her short term memory is going and being blind, she can't see it to remember anything. But she knows who her sisters and children are. My sister and brother have POA, but all 3 of us live in different states. It's a logistic nightmare trying to figure out what to do with her. And her being difficult, controlling and unwilling to work with us doesn't help. She is staying with me now because my other 2 siblings have put their foot down and said no, she can't come here because it just doesn't work. My sister had her last year and dealt with mom having a pace maker put in. My sister ended up having a mild stroke. Mom will not willingly go into assisted living and says we should be dutiful children and take care of her because she took care of us, but I'm going nuts just after 2 months. Help!

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Thanks for all your comments! I have contacted any and all agencies for the blind and that included a therapy worker. My mom adamantly stated she needed no help and that she would take each day at a time and do the best she could. Even when the therapist tried to teach her to use a cain. She refused saying that cains were for the crippled. So now she walks around swinging her arms back and forth, barely picking her feet up. We think that mom has always suffered from PPD, paranoia personality disorder with a big heap of depression on top. Bad combination! Her right eye will have to be removed and at that point were hoping to get Drs orders to put her in rehab and from there slide her into a nursing facility. Not sure what else to do. When I bring up getting home health care help to get her shower regularly or to give me a break she pitches a fit and wants to be taken home.
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You can also contact your state to determine if there are any agencies that deal with blindness. Michigan has one and provides information; I'm not sure what else because I merely collected the contact information at an aging center and haven't had the need (fortunately) to address this issue.

There might be national blind societies that can offer some help in terms of acceptance of blindness as well as coping mechanisms.
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Eye is right. Dementia and old age goes one way. Down. Children get easier to care for. Don't get guilt tripped with that BS line. Do what ever it takes to get mom into care and do it soon before your wreck you health.
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Someone needs to gain guardianship over your mom. Contact an elder law attorney in her state.

You're going nuts and you sister has had a stroke. If your mom needs 24/7 care it's probably time to place her in a nursing home because Medicaid won't pay for 24/7 care. They will pay for a nursing home.

Your mom says you all should care for her since she took care of you. When she had children was she in the same state as her children so she could care for them? Were her children blind with the onset of dementia? Did you kids refuse her help? As you kids got older you became more independent everyday. Your mom is growing more dependent everyday. There's a big difference. I raised a daughter and I cared for my dad. Raising my daughter for 18 years as a single parent for most of those years was much easier than caring for my aging father for 6 years.
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