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I'm dealing with my father-in-law that sees everything in a negative light. Nothing I do is right and he has very little to say to me. Recently, they placed him on hospice care and the second day of being in hospice care my mother got sick and had to have surgery. This was over a month ago, she is in a rehab facility at this time. I need help dealing with his attitude. He is 89 will be 90 June 12th. They gave him 3 weeks to live and that was the last part of February. I've been told because of my care he has done a complete turn around, but he doesn't remember that he is on hospice care. I'm at a loss as to how to make him happy.

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Thank you for your input, we have a social worker that I keep forget about, I will give her a call Monday. And it is a comfort knowing that this site is here for us again thank you very much.
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Back in the 70's my 19 year old brother was dying of cancer. One day he said that my SIL hurt him when she gave him a shot. That she did it on purpose. She was a wonderful person. Would never have hurt him on purpose. I opened my very young mouth and said oh you must have dementia. He said what is dementia? I said you aren't getting enough oxygen to your brain. Later I looked up dementia in the dictionary and hoped he wouldn't.
Dear DoraRose, it's just part of the process. You can't take it personal. Don't neglect your momma for your FIL but he can't be too appreciative. He's doing the hard work of dying.
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Do you have any help with Fil?
Seems your mother needs you.

It may not be important that he remembers he is on hospice?
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Has he been diagnosed with depression? If so, maybe, he needs medication. He's on Hospice, right? I might discuss it with their team about making him more comfortable.
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Sweetie nothing you do will make him happy. This is who he is. Do your best and ignore the complaints. I do know that it is easier said then done. It's not you - it is him.
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I have had to learn the hard way that there is no way to make some people happy. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. Continue to provide the best care you can. Keep him comfortable. And absolve yourself of the responsibility for his happiness.

My mother is so negative it makes your eyes burn. I have just had to accept that the warm sun will be too bright and too warm. The cool shade will be too cool and shady. The soft sweater will be too soft and the birds will sing to loudly.
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