I feel she has nothing to be ashamed of, but she sees the dementia as embarrassing or shameful. She has only mild dementia, but is experiencing some mis identification of my father. The doctor thinks it's REM sleep issues. So 90% of the time she's fine, but 10% of the time she doesn't know my dad, is afraid of him, or mad at him. I hate to move her and change her whole life for this 10% problem. The doctor has offered no help as far as meds, and discouraged her use of xanax. She barely had 3 pills and it seemed to be helping. Now what do we do? If she was bad all the time it would be easier to make a decision.