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I take care of my 81 yo mom and now live with her to get out of debt...I am happy to do that and there are caregivers who also help out...We have a history of conflict and it seems to be getting worse, especially when she calls 4 times a day and I feel pressured, guilty, angry and helpless just because of her demands and her sensitivity..i can't say anything or express feelings to her or she'll use it against me...My therapist tells me not to take it personally but it's difficult...I feel like i'm going crazy and plan to join Alanon.

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Are there other options for you to get out of debt? As long as you are in the house she will hold that over you and torture you. Distance and boundaries seems the only answer when dealing with a narcasist.
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Sorry I just saw you DO live with her. I experience all of it too. Please get into a support group, if you can. It would have done me a world of good!
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I go through this too and my Mom is not an alcoholic. I'm sure you will benefit from AlAnon and if she has dementia, try an Alzheimer's Association support group. I live with my Mom and can't leave her alone (and my brother would call Adult Protective Services if he thought I left her to walk the dog) because he's just like our Mom. Good luck. I envy you not living with your Mom. You can turn her "off" and have some time.
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Al Anon will show you how to turn off the noise.
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