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My daughter doesn’t visit me very often because my mother is very, very rude to her when she does. My son, who recently got out of the Army and temporary lives in my motor home, has a very difficult time with her. And recently, my other son who drove up over 700 miles to visit me has stayed only 2-days before leaving to stay with his sister. My nephew who she raised and said could temporary stay for a couple of weeks (he is staying with my son in the motorhome), only stayed 1-day before she told him to “get out” and started arguing with everyone. This happens while I'm at work. She is a very, very negative person. My children informed me that they love me, but can’t tolerate their grandmother anymore. My son who drove 700 miles told me that he will not visit again. I will have to visit him instead.

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ba8alou gave you good advice, I think. Find long-term care appropriate to Mom's needs. Leaving her alone while you work probably won't continue to be possible as her dementia progresses.
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The only other thing I can think of is to have G-mom evaluated for depression and see if that makes things any better. Then, if you really do not want to place her rather than continue to have her at home, you could try to have a family meeting where you explain about the dementia making G-mom worse than ever and that they do not have to take it personally or obey her when she orders them out, etc. Maybe there is one of those caregiver courses nearby that you could go to together that would help. As it is, you and your other family are missing out on quality time and just being a family, and there is that tendency for things to become permanently distanced if it goes on long enough. You at least need enough respite to spend time catching up with a son who drove 700 miles...!
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Dementia ia s horrible disease and can cause a already nasty person to become worse. You and your children have become collateral damage to a condition your mother cannot control. Only you can decide what is best for everyone concerned. You keeping your mother with you will definately keep your children away. Good Luck you have a difficult decision on your hands.
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I really for once agree with placing Mom in a facility. She is well on the way to destroying your family Roberta and that is something you can not allow.
If none of your sibs are willing to care for Mom that tells us all something and you should not be the one to make such a sacrifice
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Your mom needs to be in a facility where she can be cared for by folks who understand this disease and can care in shifts, not 24/7. Then, you and your kids can visit for brief periods, and get out when the negativity strikes!
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To reponse to questions: My mother has dementia and she lives with me (she is currently in her 80's). She was married to my father for over 60 years and when he died suddenly, none of my other siblings (11 of them) would take care of her. Yes, she was diagnosed with dementia a couple of years ago. She has always been unpleasant but now takes it to new height.
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Roberta, why is your mother living with you? Does she need care? Could she live independently?

Does Mom have dementia? Other mental health issues? What exactly are her impairments? What is her financial status? How old is she?

Could Mom live in the motorhome and your son move in with you until he gets on his feet?

I'm sorry that all I have are questions, but I think that we need to know a little bit more about this situation before making suggestions.

Off the top of my head, I'd say that the solution is for Mom to leave, but I'd want to know more before offering that as advice.
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Is this a longstanding behavior with her? Are there treatable medical problems? If this is your home, then you set the rules - mom is a guest, not in charge.
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