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Everything we try to do I can't make him understand why or how we are doing or how to do it.

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My dad had a stroke 4 years ago and my step mom had to deal with the same issues - after about six months she had had it. My dad's doctor was able to prescribe some medications that helped. I think starting with a doctor for assessment and ask about post stroke treatment and social services help. My step mom has someone come in 8 hours a week for respite care for her.
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Has he gotten any post-stroke treatment? Is he involved in any stroke support groups? Contact local hospitals - some do have these available. He might not be willing to go, but you might get some ideas from attending the meetings.
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