I have been primary caregiver to my 89 1/2 year old mother who has had health problems for the last 15 years. My father died when he was 63 ( she was 63 too) and she was completely lost - he handled all the bills, taxes, mtg etc - told me women of her generation didn't ask questions about the $. she got so stressed over handling the bills that I eventually told her I'd handle them all for her. fast forward 25 years later and she's still making me feel guilty. she's been in & out of the hospital since January - now in a nursing home in the re-hab section and wants to go home. My brother & I are there every day. 2 days ago was my daughter's 22nd birthday & I didn't even see her as I went to the NH on my lunch hour to bring over clean laundry and went to her apartment after work to take care of her cat. when I went to the NH last night I told her I couldn't stay long as I was taking my daughter out to dinner for her bday. she gave me a big sigh and said "oh please don't tell me that!" I got angry & said we were there every day and she was being unreasonable - she snapped " well I'm here every day too" she's not a mean woman she just was never very strong and is very needy. she told me last week that she fantasizes that one of these days I'll tell her I'm spending the night with her at the NH. I told her that's impossible I have a job and a family at home and there is no room for me to sleep there anyway. she said I could sleep in the bed & she'd sleep in the chair! I am wiped out... I'm starting to get very resentful. My husband says I just have to be cold about it as this is MY life too and I deserve some down time. but it's very hard and I feel so guilty all of the time.