My mother is slowly losing her short-term memory. I am more than willing to care for her but what is so frustrating and maddening is that she blames me for all the problems in her life and all the things that she forgets without reason or basis. I feel like I am about to snap and lose it because it is unbelievably frustrating.
For example, I will watch her put her purse back into her handbag. After a while, she will try to find it and being unable to find it, turn around and say "Did you take my purse?" I will then take her bag, fish out the purse, and show that it was in her bag all along. She'll just respond with, "oh."
Other times, I'll leave a note for her on her table. And she'll say that I never left a note for her. I look around for the note and it's nowhere to be found except it's in the trash can. I fish it out and show it to her and she'll say, "I didn't throw it away. I don't know who did that." I want to bash my head into the wall.
Another time, she was on the phone with a Medicare or something and she needed her social security number. Her social security card was in her bag and she asked me to find that for her. I find it and hand it to her. Later on that afternoon, she will notice that someone has touched her bag and ask me: "Why did you touch my bag? What were you trying to find in there?" And I want to bash my head into the wall again.
The frustrating part is trying to care for her and then being accused and blamed at the same time.
What do I do and how can I cope?