The past few weeks have been crazy once again. Mom had a UTI and her sugar started running low. Besides the fact that she does not like to eat. On Saturday Morning the ALF sent her to the ER. She was admitted. Stress!
The week before I had her at two doctor appointments for her foot (has a sore on it again). The ALF constantly telling me that if it gets worse she can’t stay. Stress!
My husband is going through something. He just wants to have fun and enjoy things. Who doesn’t? I spend the weekend dealing with mom in hospital and going out a garden, winery and mini golf with my husband. Happy face so he can enjoy life.. When I talk about my responsibilities and things I have to do, he gets angry and shuts me out. He got mad at me last night because I did not want to go to the movies. Not only did I just want to be home and feel secure, but we have a few unpaid bills and just should pay them. He stops listening and just starts to say things to hurt my feelings. Stress!
Phone call from my cousin who live local but very rarely visits my mom. Wanted to know why my mom was in hospital, is she getting physical therapy, why are her sugars low, why, why and why? Phone call from Aunt (in New Jersey, I am in Florida). Why is you mom in hospital, is she ever going to be allowed to go home, why, why, why and why? Stress!
I really am at a place of feeling I am not enough and I am in this alone. I do have a friend who I talk to, but I hate always being so negative.
I feel my mom’s doctor’s and ALF treat me like I am not doing the right thing or enough for her. I feel my husband thinks I am not taking good care of his needs. I feel I am not taking care of my business and losing money / customers. So close to breaking, but don’t have anyone to even look after things so I can regroup.
How can I be on call 24 hours a day for everyone but myself and not start to loss it? Alone and not sure how much more I can continue to do.