In a nutshell, my mother (like many others on this forum, I've noted) is extremely self centered. All three of us siblings were subjected to some form of either physical and/or emotional abuse when growing up. I have found it in my heart (largely through the help of my very loving and supportive spouse and church family, pastors, etc.) to forgive our mother but she apparently cannot forgive herself. The end result is her inability to stop torturing us with memories and recollections of some of the most heinous events we had to endure. I have tried to tell her that this behavior is both extremely upsetting as well as counter-productive to a healthy relationship at this point but this seems to do little good in the long term as, of course, she cannot recall when she last did this and is extremely narcissistic and clearly is filling her own need to continually raise these painful times. Many times I can shake this off in a day or two but for all practical purposes I endure this type of exchange every time I see her, which is at least once a week. My husband (one of the most loving and forgiving people I know) has even come to the point where he feels this behavior on my mother's part is becoming unforgivable as he hates seeing me in this constant state of distress. Any and all comments and/or suggestions for how others deal with a similar situation will be most welcomed. Thank you!