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I am sitting here typing this while on my CPM machine and just got a frantic call from my 91yr. old uncle because he drove to the post office, left his car running while he went in and managed to lock the keys in the running car. Like I'm supposed to jump up and go fix it. I just had total knee replacement am on a walker and can't drive myself!!!!! I called my husband at his office and he has a wrecker service with a device that is supposed to be able to break in the car on the way. Called my uncle back and told him that someone was on the way. My husband is in the insurance business and knows how tight my uncle is, so he told me to tell Uncle that since he only has liability (21 yr. old car) the wrecker bill won't be covered. Good Lord, that totally ticked him off. The man has plenty of money, so not like he's going to be on starvation after he pays the bill. Seems like he's got one problem after another since I had surgery 2 weeks ago and my poor husband has to deal with it on top of his own 92yr. old mother and crazy sister. I know it is very scary that a 91yr. old is driving, but when I took him to get his license renewed a couple months ago, they didn't even give him a vision test. Really!!!!! I thought that was mandatory. I had prepared him for the possibility of giving up driving because he might not be able to pass the vision test. Now he's good to go for two more yrs. Yikes!!!! I am at my wits end. I feel like I can't even take care of myself because he is always needing something. I feel selfish for feeling this way. He isn't even my blood kin, but his folks are in another state and won't do anything for him. Thanks for listening to my rant.

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We become the lifelines for our aging relatives. Come to think of it, don't we do the same if we have car trouble, we call our spouse or significant other.

If your Uncle lives in an area where he can comfortably and safely drive, let him keep on driving. Otherwise you or your husband will be on call 24/7 to be his driver.

I am dealing with that with my 90+ year old parents since they stopped driving 5 years ago due to to limited vision. Even the simple task of being a driver changes your lifestyle because you now are the one who takes him to get groceries or you get groceries for him... takes him to his doctor appointments... to the barber.... to the hardware store... to the post office, etc. etc. etc.

My Mom would go grocery shopping every other day to whatever store she has a coupon or had a sale on something she needed, and buy only two or three items. Dad would want to go to the hardware store every other day, spend an hour in the store and buy just one light bulb. I finally had to put my foot down and say one grocery store per week, and one trip per month to the hardware store.
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Get him AAA, and put the number on his phone for him speed dial. Police do not appreciate getting calls for being locked out of car. If you don't want to help him, tell him and let him get someone else paid or whatever to help him out, if he can get a license and drive he can arrange for helpers, if this upsets you, you probably will not want to get involved with future issues that are more distressing. I guess he thought you'd help him, or that you'd calm him down enough to figure out what to do.
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I went through a similar experience. I think they panic when a caregiver is on injured reserve. So I called the police department and they took the call. In your uncle's case, they may find him too confused to drive anymore. That would be a blessing and it may even save a life.
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You get good karma for being the person he can call. Anything you can do to help him is extra blessings on top of that; and any remaining grumbles he has are his own problem. Get well soon xxx

PS Either query the licence renewal or warn everyone local to stay off the roads!
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