My sister and I take care of our 83 yr old Mother. She is blind, deaf, and partially paralyzed on left side of body. She has dementia, with occasional short term memory issues. She has so many health issues it would take forever to list, she has had serious health issues for 40 years. Recently she was taken to ER because she was sleeping 23 hours a day and was mentally altered. Turns out it was a severe UTI, at home and doing better now.
My issue is this, my sister called my Mother's niece (they are very close in age and were raised like sisters) because we thought she was going to die. My cousin was here for 2 days and has taken it upon herself to tell us that we are not taking proper care of our mother. Mother has VERY specific wishes regarding her care. My cousin keeps insisting on a feeding tube (which Mother refuses) and told the ER/hospital staff and even called Mother's home health nurse and insisted upon one. She lives in a different state and has not seen Mother in over a year and she is causing serious problems. Calling doctors, home health nurse, social workers...I called her last night and asked her to please stop calling the medical professionals, to only contact me...she BLEW UP! Started telling me that we were killing my Mother, she was being ignored, abused, etc etc etc! She has NO clue what's going on here...WHAT DO I DO?! How can I get her to stop?! She says she is going to keep showing up at our house, unannounced, to make sure Mother is being taken care of...I asked her not to, because it disrupts our routine, and confuses Mother.