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I find myself worrying my head about this everyday and especially at night before sleep. I'm so close with my mom. I was already living with her before her health decline. Ten years, but been hands on caregiver for two solid years. I did stuff before too but not on this level. She has the interstitial lung disease. Diagnosed about four or so years ago. The life expectancy with this is five years. They have stages online and well I believe she is at last stage. My world will be turned upside down. I feel like I can't live without her. We have no other close family except my teenage son who lives with us. I'm very scared of the new world I'm about to exist in. Any tips or thoughtful advice? Also these doctors won't give her pain medicine. I realize their are new regulations but someone in her back pain and sickness needs relief.

Diane, I've been obsessed about every detail of my mom's life since her strokes.
I'm always afraid I'll miss something and be responsible for her passing....which is not logical! My mother is 93. I started going to a therapist because I was so depressed I dreaded getting up in the morning & wasn't taking care of myseIf. I also have started an antidepressant, which helps. This started when she was 89. The therapist and I have discussed what an adjustment it will be when she passes. I'm counting on my therapist to be there for me so I can be there for my mother & after she passes.
I'm very happy I got professional help and I'd like to suggest it. If you're on Medicare, it pays for counseling. (You look to young to be, though!)
My heart goes out to you.
Take care of yourself!
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Reply to Resentfully
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I meant for you to pass before her.
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Reply to Riverdale
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It sounds as though she should be in hospice where medication would be provided for her. It is not ideal for parents to outlive their children though sadly many do. Her passing sad as it will be is in the natural order of life. Can you imagine how it would be for her to die first. That is what would be a very difficult circumstance for your family dynamic. A grief group will help. I attended one for awhile when my father passed away. I felt his death was somewhat premature but he did not follow proper protocol with his health so it became inevitable.
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Reply to Riverdale
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I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Losing a mom you’re close to is a unique kind of pain. I think we always want our mom’s in our lives. Mine has been gone several years now, it’s definitely gotten better but I still think of her daily, now just more often with a smile instead of the tears.
Do you have hospice services? Many people find them helpful, and they may be able to help with pain management. Do the things now with your mom that bring you both happiness together, even things so simple as reading to her and holding her hand. It’s these memories that will bring you peace and comfort later. Make sure you’ve said everything you want to say. Enjoy the time as much as possible even though times are hard, it’ll be a salve to your soul
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Dianne38 Nov 11, 2018
Thanks so much! Your the only comment I received, yet the only one I needed to hear. Things are so difficult. She took a fall this morning, and her mobility is declining quickly. I think it's Parkinson's disease. I plan to get her an appointment with specialist next week. Thank you for the kind words. It helps to know that the raw pain from grief won't consume me forever. She is my best friend and we have shared so many laughs and inside jokes. Caregiving is not for the faint hearted. I have been offered job in that field but know I definitely won't be jumping back in it on any level for awhile. Just wonder how to go from someone's literal every thing to not being needed on that level. You have my deepest condolences for your loss of your mother. Thanks for your time to relay helpful words of advice.
Kelly
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