How do you all deal with anxiety over hospice /imminent death situation?
HI all -- I'm spending part of the weekend with my aunt, who is under hospice care. Her condition has changed rapidly - she mostly sleeps, confuses night & day, and is very weak. Hospice says, just make sure she is comfortable, and call if anything changes. We are hiring a caregiver for the 8 pm to 8 am shift beginning Monday. I was there last weekend, when things were different. We had meals together, my aunt was going to bed at night, and getting up in the late morning/afternoon. She slept for 60 hours, starting Sunday night, only getting up to use the bathroom. Then, after an aide bathed her, she got up Wed. and had a "normal" day, eating, drinking water, etc. My partner has been there all week, 24/7, and is frazzled and burned out (understandably). My shift is tonight-Saturday-Sat. night, then partner takes over until caregiver starts Mon. night. I've lost both my parents, who had hospice care, so I'm not new to this. I'm scared of the unexpected. As I write this, I'm thinking if tonight is upsetting and crazy, I will get someone else to help me Sat. night. If I have to bribe a friend, or homeless person, I will. LOL. Thanks for listening. Any suggestions, I'm open to hearing. Please be gentle. Thanks.
Assuming she's in a terminal condition (because she's in hospice), you're providing her with comfort and the best care available during this stage of her life.
And you're probably doing the best thing that anyone can do by staying with her to provide comfort, to be there if she needs you, and make it clear she's not alone.
We all have to face death at some time, but you're ensuring that she's not doing it alone. For that, you can be very proud of yourself, your courage, and your willingness to support her.
For Saturday night, take something uplifting to read, and a jar of cinnamon. Seriously. It's a "feel good" spice and may actually help you remain calm.