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My mother is very high functioning in the morning. Her tests came back as her reasoning, judgement, memory are all in the bottom two percentile but her observation is normal. (I don't understand that but one of you might) In the afternoon, evening she asks CONSTANTLY where 'they, the kids, those thickbottomed boys, etc' are....I can deal with that but she also firmly believes her mom and sister is still alive and "on their way over here"...my sister says to just go with it..that if I tell Mother that her mom is dead, she'll just regrieve over and over...but Mother now wants to CALL her mom or says things like "I guess Mom doesnt' want to see me" and thinks that we are going to see her mom tomorrow...

Am I wrong to to just go with the hallucinations or should I be telling her the truth? I dont' want to make her sad but I think she is getting suspicious of me...I think she senses I am not being truthful with her.

Anyone else deal with this behaviour?

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I can relate, My mom is not really a morning person slow to wake but then she does great and is very active. The Sundowning can start as early as 2 pm or as late as 6pm she starts saying I want to go home, I need to call my mother, my mother doesn't know where I am, all things of this nature. It never gets easier but I do my best to go with it and try to re-direct her or respond with in a little while, or we'll call her later, or we'll go home later. most of the time it works but there are days when it's all day and nothing works I try not to go crazy.
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I agree with the redirecting, I have to do it with my mom all the time. She says she needs to call her mom, or wants to go home, sometimes she says a sister's name. All the same usually it happens when she is anxious so redirecting helps. I also say things like I'll take you home tomorrow. The hallucinations were bad for a while but seem to have subsided. When they happen I just go with it. It's usually something about the weather or birds in the trees nothing harmful. Try different things and see what works for you and your mom. I used feel guilty about the little white lies too but knowing that it calms her I'm okay with it now. Best wishes.
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You just go with it. If you begin to contradict her and attempt to force the truth on her she will likely become agitated, plus it's cruel. That's her reality. Our loved ones with dementia can't be expected to live in our reality anymore so we have to live in theirs.

Try to redirect her attention. Since you can anticipate these situations try to have something for your mom to do. It can be difficult to try and redirect someone's attention and it's mentally exhausting for us but it's really the only humane thing to do. And you're right, you don't want to have to tell her everyday that her mom and sister are dead. Is there anything around the house, some task, that you can engage your mom in when her questions start? A favorite movie you can pop into the DVD? If it's warm enough can you go out and sit on the patio?

If nothing is working and your mom is getting agitated with your attempts to redirect her attention, as a last resort, tell her that her mom called and she was very tired and wasn't going to make it and that she was going to lie down and she'd talk to your tomorrow. It's one of those little white lies we tell our elderly family members who have dementia. Don't feel guilty about it. You're trying to keep her calm and keep her from being is distress.

I agree with the sundowning suggestion. Talk to her Dr. about this and see if there's something he can prescribe for your mom.
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I understand that it's sundowning...I am just wondering how to handle the questions...how do other Alzheimer's caregivers handle the situation?
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If this is happening in the afternoon 3ish, it's probably sundowning.. Speak with her Dr about it..
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