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that is 78 and really needs your help, and is in a skilled nursing facility, but is being down right brutal to you, and blaming you for things, and being very uncalled for, and thinks that the only reason I am working for her is her money.

How do you respond, when in reality, I will quit tomorrow if she continues abusing me?

Thanks.

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those two statements are not in contradiction.
I am not working for her for her money. I do a lot of this for charity.
I will quit however, if people do abuse me. I have boundries.
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I disagree, I would be caring for this woman without a dime. She has no one. I have a heart. She has realized her temper and where she needs to work on it.

I don't believe in abandoning people, but she cannot abuse.
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shakingdustoff
I know I am not in the wrong profession

My comments are, she thinks people in general are around her because of her money.

Of course I do this to make a living.

But her money is not the reason I am in this business. I would rather be with someone whom is appreciative of my work.
She has very bad mood swings, and I am trying to work this out.

I got references one by one, sweat and hard work, one by one. One year at a time.
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One error, she does not in any way have dementia, I posted this in the wrong room, she knows exactly what she is doing, and she is manipulating everyone. Sorry, I have belief in everyone, she has done this to me several times. I am her only caregiver, along with my husband, it is private, not agency care. My husband is assisting me and telling her that she cannot accuse people of doing things that is not true. She is afraid she will never be able to walk again, which is the reason for this behavior, she is scared. I apologize, as somehow this was posted in dementia/alzheimer.
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You can't respond, you know that. You know it's the dementia that is causing her to treat you the way she does but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

So you don't respond. You don't argue with her or try to convince her of anything. We can't expect people with dementia to behave reasonably. I know how difficult it is to deal with this type of patient and your agency may have to reevaluate her shifts. Her dementia has progressed, it may be time to have shorter but more frequent shifts for the sake of the caregivers.

Is this behavior worse than it has been? If so, maybe she needs medication. If the dementia has gotten worse I would definitely talk to someone about it either the family or your agency. If you can, try to be a part of the solution but if it continues do what you have to do to keep yourself emotionally healthy.
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