It's all about her head to toe ailments. She wants to go to doc every week. She's driving me crazy. She's 91, in AL (she demanded to go there, to "save me from having to work so hard"), and hates everyone and everything. Her GP has an email system and she writes them every week. She wanted me to take her to the doctor to ask if she can quit taking her one Advil.
She kept getting UTI's and ended up with a catheter. Solved the UTI's but now she hates that doctor and is bitter about that whole thing. Gripes about every aspect of that, including the type of tape, every piece of equipment, having to keep it clean, etc. The equipment supply people and I are on first name basis because she keeps changing what she wants and her supplies are NEVER right. She doesn't even consider that she hasn't had a UTI since getting the cath. She just hates the doctor for not telling her the paper tape doesn't stick well. Her next appointment is with the nurse she doesn't like...I'm really looking forward to THAT appointment (not).
She tries to micromanage her bowel functions. She's always done that, but it's gone over the top since she has nothing else but her body to think about. She won't do the many activities the AL provides because she "might have to go to the bathroom". She won't ride the bus on their outings, yet wants me to take her to the same places.
Dad wasn't dead five minutes before she grabbed his walker and started using it, well before she needed to, "in case she gets weak and might fall", so now she DOES need it. She's stooped over from leaning on it, her legs are now weakened and her back hurts. Her doctor tells her to go to their chair exercise...she refuses...might have to go to the bathroom, don't ya know. She tells her to do the activities...nope, refuses. She tells her ways to reduce her extreme depression...Mom won't do any of them. She measures her urine output and examines the color. It's nuts! Yet the whole time she's doing all this, the minute she sees me, she hangs her head and says she wants to die. After years of trying to fix every complaint she has had, I'm at my wits' end, exhausted, and feeling guilty for not being able to fix her gripes and guilty if I stand up to her and say no, I won't make a doctor appointment to ask if you can stop taking that Advil pill...just stop! Solving one issue is like taking your hand out of a bucket of water...another one immediately takes its place. I am blessed with wonderful siblings willing to help but she doesn't want them...she wants me!!!!! I know the answer, I just have a hard time dealing with the guilt and pressure...and needed to vent. Thanks.