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I live with and care for mom but have "no say". She's not getting the care she needs. I've taken care of mom since 1995 when dad died and handled all her affairs until January 2014 when my sister snatched shared POA for herself under dubious circumstances. Mom has dementia, is deaf and refuses to use her hearing aid, has always had someone taking care of things for her (either dad or me), and has no idea what the lawyer asked her to sign. Since then, my sister makes sure mom only sees the 2 doctors that write prescriptions for her; all her other providers were dropped, which means all the other medical care developed over 20 years was stopped. She developed 3 nasty bedsores from not being able to walk after her arthritis treatments were stopped. She gets no socialization -- she is a prisoner in her own home. I "have no say", even though I provide 24/7 care. We have part-time home health workers helping with meals, showers, etc, but that's all the help I get. Mom has plenty of resources and is financially well-off, but my sister refuses to spend any of mom's money on anything that isn't "forced" upon her to pay. We can't even get basics like gloves for changing her dressings and there is never enough food in the house. After 8 years of not working and getting 0 compensation for the care I provide, my own financial resources are quickly drying up, so I can't afford this situation much longer either. Who can help get us out of this mess? Any advice on who I can contact for help? I've already asked for help from the home health agency, but because I don't have POA and my sister hired them, they refuse to help. Should I just go file an elder abuse/neglect report with the police, contact APS, or what? Trying to cope with mom's rapidly declining condition is hard enough, but the added burden of the greedy, uncaring sister makes this impossible. My other 2 siblings don't seem to care at all.

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Might also note that mom and my sister hate each other; sister hasn't seen mom since last Thanksgiving, even though she lives just a few minutes away. She "delegates" everything to her husband, who resents the responsibilities and takes it out on our mom. Sister only writes 4 checks a month. That's the extent of her "POA" activities.
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My sister believes that room alone is already too much compensation. I am "not allowed" to eat any of mom's food (if there is any), although I'm expected to cook her meals for her or pay for take out myself for mom when the home health workers are not here. Mom cannot be left alone at all now and her home has not be modified to accommodate her needs. And yes, if I could collect it, I would already be owed the bulk of my mom's estate. My sister's husband said he was going to "bill me" for the cost of the caregivers, even though they are being paid from funds that belong to mom. So in their twisted world, it's OK to pay parttime caregivers $32k a year for just a small fraction of what I've been doing, but I deserve nothing. I'm also the youngest of 4 siblings, with a hefty gap in years between them and me, so I'm sort of feeling like Cinderella. It sounds like I need to get a good elder care attorney and go to probate court.
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You get a job and you go to work. The POA can arrange for care when you are not there. Seems fair enough. Then you can buy food for yourself.
No gloves? Wash your hands before and after. Twenty years ago nobody wore gloves unless they were in surgery.
Your sister probably thinks your room & board is fair enough. NOT TRUE. You need to write down the hours of actual care, multiply that by $10 and from that total, deduct half the rent/utilities/groceries. Chances are she will still owe you a nice bucket of change.
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