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In the afternoon my grandma sleeps from 2:30 to 4. Since she doesn't sleep at night if she sleeps after 4 pm, we have been having her wake up at 4 (unwillingly) so that she sleeps really well at night. It's working but she is nasty when she wakes up. I mean she calls names, threatens our safety and holds a grudge towards me (mostly me since I'm the one on duty during this time) throughout the evening which is shocking considering she can't remember eating two minutes after she does so. Once 4:45, 5:00 or so happens she's wide awake but that hour before she's horrible and she says hurtful things.

Does anyone have any suggestions on gentle ways to wake up a person or a way to keep her awake? I'm just trying to get through the one hour time that seems to ruin most of the evening. I'm not sure she remembers her yelling and threatening afterwards or just remembers the feeling in her stomach of having yelled towards someone. Either way she refuses to eat, refuses to talk and sulks for hours afterwards making dinner very difficult. I'm not sure how much she remembers but I'm not sure how to handle it. I mean all day and night she's fine. She's pleasant, nice and generally fun to be around. It's just this one hour and it really makes a difference. She is sleeping amazingly at night to the point of where my mom is having to wake her up after 3 to 4 hours for fear she will have an accident. We were frustrated and tried to let her sleep in the evening for a few days to avoid waking her up and dealing with the mood swing and we had miserable nights where it would continue into the days. She was upset all day, yelling all day, complaining so this waking up at 4 really does make the difference between a good day and a bad day.

Any suggestions anyone might have or even the admittance that we aren't alone (which we might very well be) would be helpful. I'm just at my wits end as to what to do at this point with that one hour time frame...

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I was thinking about this and wondered if she's this hard to rouse and this cranky in the mornings. Does she wake up on her own, or is she waken up?

Irishlass may be on to something.

By the way, I know she's your loving Grandma and all, but when she says hurtful things to you, try not to take it personally. You know deep down, she doesn't mean it and it would probably kill her to know she's talking to you this way. Just keep saying to yourself "It's the disease, not Grandma" until you finally believe it. You'll probably have to say it a bunch.

Kudos to you for helping your mom out with this. It can't be easy for her either, didn't you say she's recovering from cancer? You certainly have your plate full.
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It may not be her wake up time that makes her cranky and hateful, she could be experiencing sundowners syndrome. Try waking her up a little earlier and have a snack and some fluids waiting for her. Hopefully she'll be munching down on something yummy when 4pm comes and goes.
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She kind of falls asleep naturally. We have helpers who come in the mornings from 10 to 1. The 2 o'clock time is when she has a snack. It does vary. Sometimes she falls asleep before her helper leaves so she wakes up by 3 and is hungry so she has her snack around 3. Either way she falls back asleep by 4. We don't really have a set naptime for her. Pretty much in the morning and afternoon when she falls asleep naturally is when we leave her sleep. It's just that we have found that the after 4 pm time..sometimes we give her a 15 to 30 minutes extra if she's had a real busy day or has been to the doctor and seems really tired. Perhaps she is like JessieBelle and generally just not feeling well. Never thought of it that way.
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Who set the time for 2:30 to 4? Could the nap be moved to an earlier time or is that when she prefers. For her to be that hard to wake up, it sounds like she goes into a really deep sleep.

My MIL is in a MUCH better humor when she wakes up on her own, rather than being waken up. These are things I've tried with moderate success. First I raise the noise level in the house. Then I turn on lights or open the blinds. Then I start talking to her, finally sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing her arms or legs while telling her it's time to get up. Her mood varies from day to day. Some days it's as if she's drugged (she's not).
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I can relate to this. If I fall asleep during the day I feel terrible and cranky when I wake up. My stomach feels a little sick and mentally I feel like a hairy monster. The best advice I would have for anyone is to avoid me for a little while. Would it be possible to wake your grandmother up, then leave her to her cranky self for about an hour while you prepare dinner or something? If you can't avoid her, maybe understanding that she doesn't feel well when she wakes up mid-day will make it more tolerable. It's not personal, even though it sounds that way. She is probably just feeling like she could chew nails. :)
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